Ghost in the Night
by Destiny and Fate united
Summary: Arnold has made a mistake that has cost him more than he knows; can his friends pull him out of his hole? Or is a certain blonde haired girl his only chance for the life he once had?
1. Chapter I: The Hang Over

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

**A/N**:This is my first Hey Arnold FanFic. I hope you enjoy it! Dedicated to BrokenRose24 and her wonderful artwork and to all those wonderful authors who write Hey Arnold! I thank you all.

And also to anyone who has lost someone, or been broken; this is for you.

Chapter One: The Hang Over

The smell of whisky and cigarettes burned his nostrils with the familiar sensation of craving and disgust, his stomach churning over the contents he had just eaten and his eyes now stinging with the lack of sleep he had undertaken lately. But there in lay his problem; Arnold could not sleep. The days around him had grinded to a halt, the actions of the people around him slow and fuzzy, his life seemingly cut off from everyone around him. Taking another sip, Arnold glanced lazily from the stool and looked around. No one was here. The bar had shut hours ago, but he remained behind, his part ownership with Gerald being the only reason for his lateness.

He remained slumped over the bar in his stool, the same stool that for the third night straight he had sat in, and as he took another hasty sip, he knew it was not going to change. _I'm such a fool; how could I have trusted her?_ He mused, the nightlight still sitting comfortably on his back. The bar itself was still quite dark, especially in the corner where the music continued to play. It was large, without being able to fit everyone in town into it; the paved floor was a nice touch and made it easier to clean in case of a spill, but was revolting to try and bring back to a shine. The bar he now sat at was large enough to house alcohol Arnold had never experienced before, and was large enough to allow him to drown his sorrows.

A row of glasses continued to grow, his final gulp of the whisky being placed alongside the other empty shallow glasses. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to remember why he was here again; his whole body was aching for rest, with his mind the only thing stopping him. Grabbing a bottle, he tipped its contents in carelessly; he'd clean it up in the morning. The sensation of resting on the stool made him drowsy, the pins and needles in his arms growing as he continued to rely on them for support. How far he had fallen from his old ways he didn't know; the bar had become his life. But it wasn't what he wanted, what he had wanted to be a part of. There was no choice for him here; he would be doomed to watch and grow old here, never knowing what would happen.

Again his heart gave a start; a rustling outside caught his attention, jerking his body upright. Shadows of cats danced past the window, dousing his hopes of company. Taking a sip of the amber liquid in front of him, he coughed slightly at the rough taste it gave him. He was sorry for it all. Placing his head into his hands on the counter, he could feel the tears begin to grow again; his heart was breaking again, no matter how much alcohol he tried to fill it up with. What had he done to deserve this? He had said he was sorry, he had apologised, but nothing was easing his guilt. Maybe Gerald was right; he should give her up. But he couldn't, he wouldn't; Helga was his life and for better or for worse, he loved her.

The words stung him as he sat up; _he loved her._ But she didn't; how could she ever love him again? He had waited too long; he had remained silent when he needed to shout it out to the world around him. Sharp pain flooded his mind; touching it absentmindedly, Arnold shook his head and stood up. Checking to make sure all lights were finally off, he left the bar, closing it firmly behind him. His watch beeped, making him check it; 2:00 a.m. He cursed himself for being out late; he would have to get up early anyway for work. Arnold smiled to himself as he made his way along the streets. He had to keep reminding himself that work wouldn't start till later in the day.

Gerald though would want to know what happened to him. He could call in sick and take the day off; but he couldn't do that to Gerald. Coming to the apartment building, he opened the door and headed in. Climbing flights of stairs and wishing he had taken the elevator by the time he reached the top, Arnold came to the door he was searching for. There were only three other doors on this level, and one of them belonged to Gerald. Thankfully he knew he was preoccupied tonight, so the chance of him registering his late arrival into his own apartment would be highly unlikely.

Fumbling for the key in his pocket, Arnold managed to turn the lock and enter it without tripping over his own feet. Hearing another lock behind start to turn, he clambered into the hall and closed the door quickly behind him. He'd thought Gerald would have been sleeping at the very least by now. He was grateful for his worry, but he didn't want it tonight. Locks turning, he moved down the hall way and headed for the bedroom. The soft pillow beneath his head made his sleep immediate, a blessing considering Gerald stood outside his door, and head slumped against it, knowing that tomorrow would be another talk about his problem.

D & F

_Standing with her on the roof top, he could feel her shoulders slump and the hurt begin to grow inside of her after he had said those words. A single tear had streaked down the side of her face, her hair covering her eyes from his gaze._

"_So this is it?" she gasped in between breaths, his hand wanting to comfort her but finding no solace._

"_Helga I'm sorry-"_

"_I don't ever want to see you again football head!" she yelled, barging him aside before racing down the stairs. Arnold could feel the night time air turn to ice on him, whispering and telling him of all he should have done. His heart began to squeeze harder on him, the will in his body to stand up being sapped away the longer he waited. She hadn't called him football head in years._

"_Arnold!"_

_She must have returned but he couldn't see her; spinning around, he could hear his name getting louder in his head._

"Arnold! Wake up man or I'm pouring the water on you," Gerald called out, causing Arnold to open his eyes.

Slumped in a mess, tangled in sheets and with a hangover to ruin anyone's morning, Arnold groggily faced Gerald, his best friend's eyes sparkling with mischief and delight at the prospect of awakening Arnold. "What are you doing here?" Arnold mumbled, his mouth half covered by the pillow he rested on.

"I would have thought you'd have caught on by now my man; I'm your wake up call," Gerald beamed, carefully placing the water bucket back onto the floor, much to Arnold's relief.

"Couldn't you have waited till later? My head's killing me," he said as he rolled over, turning himself away from Gerald.

"Now that's just rude," Gerald grinned.

Arnold could hear the movement of more footsteps moving closer to him. A scent, one mixed with lavender and bacon and eggs drifted closer to him, Gerald's attempts to move him ceasing as he rolled over. Phoebe, wearing her glasses slightly lop sided and holding a tray of food sat down on his bed, resting it in front of him as he sat up. Out of the three of them, Phoebe was the better cook, a fact that Arnold was forever grateful for.

"Morning Phoebe," Arnold smiled softly.

"Good morning Arnold. How are you this morning?"

Arnold didn't reply, instead deciding to tuck into his food. Gerald smiled, joining his friend and Phoebe. Wrapping an arm around her, he laughed as she tried to feed him some of the egg. The grin on Arnold's face grew, watching the interaction between the two lovebirds grow with each passing moment. He felt happy for them, but he felt cold for it too. He remembered something from long ago about a bed breakfast with a girl with the most dazzling blonde hair and wonderful eyes…snapping himself out of it, he wished he didn't have those memories in his head, wishing beyond anything that they would disappear and leave him alone.

Perhaps he was right to be alone for a while; no one else had spoken to him since he had broken up with Helga apart from Gerald and Phoebe. He couldn't forgive himself for what had happened and what damage he had done. He was glad Gerald hadn't left his side; Phoebe was still best friends with Helga, but she understood him enough to respect what he had done. But he still didn't feel any better for it.

"Arnold are you okay man?" Gerald asked, snapping him out of his thinking.

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine," he replied, trying to force the happiness in his voice.

"Arnold, you don't have to pretend around us; we both know how you really are," Phoebe stated casually, eating another piece of the egg.

Tensed up, Phoebe leaned over to his ear and whispered a single word; as if on instinct Arnold could feel his body relax and face change; no longer trying to make himself happy, he lay back onto the pillows and sighed deeply.

"And I thought only one person could make the Shortman relax with a single word," Gerald chirped, receiving a strong punch from Phoebe in his arm.

"You guys don't have to worry about me you know; I can look after myself," Arnold mumbled.

Within an instant the once still bucket was over the head of Arnold, releasing the ice cold water Gerald had so kindly placed into it with the assistance of Phoebe earlier. Spluttering and coughing, Arnold wanted to reach out and punch his closest friend, but stopped after Gerald sat back with a grin.

"Lie to me again my man and I'll show you how cold I can make this water go."

Getting out of bed, Arnold moved to his cupboard and without thought for Phoebe removed his shirt and changed himself out of the sopping wet clothing. "What makes you think I can't handle living by myself?"

"You're not exactly silent when you drink Arnold," Phoebe said gently.

"And besides after what you've gone through, I would think that the last thing we should do is to leave you alone," Gerald said as Arnold tucked his shirt into his pants.

"It was only once Gerald; it won't happen again," Arnold muttered darkly.

Gerald was about to tell him off but stopped after seeing the warning glance from Phoebe. Instead, he shoved his hands into his pockets and sat down on the bed, avoiding the wet patch were Arnold had once been sleeping.

"I'm still confused about the whole thing though," Gerald muttered.

Arnold didn't listen to this comment, instead choosing to leave the room, followed in close tow by Phoebe and Gerald, who joined him in the kitchen of his apartment. The apartment wasn't the largest one he had ever been in, but this was still larger than his old room. Consisting of a simple kitchen, living room area and a balcony, a bathroom and two bedrooms quickly made up for the price he was paying to live on the top floor. But this mattered little to Arnold as he opened the freezer and began to search for some ice, the headache subsided but insisting to strike back.

"What are your plans for today?" Arnold asked as he stuck his hands into the freezer.

"I'm working late; I'll explain later," Phoebe blushed as Arnold shot her a questioning glance, "And Gerald and you are meant to be opening the bar later on unless you are going to take a day off for once?"

Arnold had managed to find the ice and was now placing it into a single large glass. "What's the point of that? I'm fine," he tried to grin as he placed the ice to his forehead.

"Arnold, as your friend and co-worker, I really do think you should take the day off buddy; you've been drinking too heavily lately for your own good. I can't have you falling sick in the middle of a shift when it could have been prevented earlier," Gerald said, watching as Arnold placed the cup down carefully.

Finally, after silence had descended upon them, Arnold sighed. "I guess you're right Gerald; I have been out of it lately. But I need to work; I can't keep myself distracted long enough."

Phoebe smiled at this and quickly left the apartment. Arnold was about to ask but a hand from Gerald kept him quiet. "Just wait."

Returning in almost an instant, Arnold was surprised to see a blank pad protruding from Phoebe's hands and a single black pen fastened to it. "I figured that after what…happened, you might want something to let your feelings out with. Not with us," she replied hastily at the frown that grew on Arnold's face, "But something personal that can help you try and piece together your story and help you move on."

Arnold accepted the pad from Phoebe and looked at it cautiously. There was something about the design that reminded him of something, but he couldn't be sure of what it had been. Gerald seemed to be waiting for Arnold to yell or cry, but was surprised as Arnold said a softly spoken "Thank you."

Seeing her job done, Phoebe bid farewell to Arnold and then Gerald, kissing him lightly on the lips before heading off to work. Gerald took a seat at the bench to the kitchen and Arnold resumed his appliance of the ice to his head, staring at the book carefully.

"I'll never quite understand what goes on her head, but she knows more than I give her credit for," Gerald smiled.

"I'm sorry about this Gerald; if I hadn't-"

Holding his hand up again, Gerald simply shook his head. "It's not your fault Arnold; we both know it had been building for a long time. If anything I should be sorry for not noticing. But then again, you did play Romeo for a reason."

"But still-"

"No more Arnold; please accept that we are here for you. Neither Phoebe nor I consider you a stranger. Whatever happened to you happened for a reason; it's time you tried to figure out why."

Arnold simply nodded. "Thanks Gerald," he said softly.

Even though in weeks to come he would deny it, Arnold could swear he saw a single tear streak down Gerald's face. When asked later, he attributed it to a stray eye lash. For the remainder of the morning the duo talked before Gerald left early after lunch, promising to ensure that the regulars were looked after and the remainder of the staff knew the go. With the afternoon to himself, Arnold looked out over the balcony and took a sip of the melted ice and felt the coldness settle him in the midst of the summer heat.

After a while, the town grew boring to him so he retreated to the couch and sat down. The notebook by his side, Arnold finally registered where he was and felt a chill run through his spine. It had happened here; he could still feel it consuming him as he tried to fight back, but nothing could block out the memories, the thoughts and the fear that resided in him at that point. Gazing into the empty television, Arnold looked at the book and sighed. Phoebe always had a reason for her logic and maybe she was right about this one.

Removing the pen from the front, Arnold opened up the first page and found a neat message scribbled on the inside:

_I figure you need a way to let it out without feeling awkward around us; this is probably your best way of doing so. Just remember we are here to talk if you need it Arnold; you don't have to go it alone._

_Love Phoebe._

_P.S. Try not to leave it out for Gerald to read._

Arnold chuckled as he gazed upon the first page. Lined in black with a border around it, Arnold felt uneasy about what to do. He could simply follow what Phoebe had suggested, but he wasn't sure he wanted to find out what he remembered just yet. Instead, he thought for a moment about what to write, the clutter that had become his mind unclear and unfocused. Finally with a gentle smile he wrote down a simple sentence, one he knew would help later on if he wanted to write.

_My name is Arnold; and this is my story._


	2. Chapter II: Caught in a Moment

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Chapter Two: Caught in a Moment

Arnold splayed himself out on the bed, exhausted but feeling slightly better than he had been. A week had passed since his last drinking expedition, leaving him in a much better mood, but still nervous around everyone regardless. He wasn't as talkative at the bar now, something Gerald was quick to pick up on. Dinner that night had been wonderful again, Phoebe demonstrating her gift for cooking by making spaghetti bolognaise that left both Gerald and Arnold speechless. Licking his lips at the thought of it, Arnold rolled over, his eyes coming to rest on the side table. Arnold looked at it oddly.

Resting on it, ever since he had written in it a week ago was the black book Phoebe had given him. Arnold paused; the light from his lamp made his eyes wince as his grabbed a hold of it, his hands feeling alien to him as he fumbled the pages within. All were blank except for the singular page he had written on, his passable handwriting alluring only to the idea he had had at the time.

Holding the pen in his hand, Arnold looked at the blank pages. Slowly time began to slide away from him…seconds passed into minutes, minutes into hours; the first rays of sunlight began to stream in through the curtains as he held the pen tightly in his finger tips. "This is pointless," he mumbled as he lay back onto the bed.

"_Nothing is pointless Arnold."_

Arnold shot up; _Helga?_

Looking around the bedroom, Arnold's eyes scanned for her presence, the smile on his face growing as he searched for any sign that the blonde haired girl was present in his room. But after a while his eyes tired and his smiled faded; Helga wasn't here. His body collapsed back onto the sheets once more. His exhaustion crept over him as his eye sight faded to darkness…

Four years ago…

Standing on the rooftop of Sunset Arms, Arnold smiled as the relief of the last few days washed over him. No longer bound by the school life of high school, Arnold grinned as he shared a can of soda with Gerald, the guzzling down of its contents causing both of them to burp loudly. Arnold laughed as Gerald coughed and splattered, his smile growing as he saw Arnold fall to the ground clutching his sides.

"What makes you think I'm going to let you get away with this?" Gerald grinned as Arnold stopped laughing.

Before he could stop him, Gerald was pouring a bucket of water on top of him. Soaked, Arnold growled as Gerald laughed; before he could react, another bucket of water was falling on top of his head, drenching Gerald's clothing.

"Now we're even," Arnold smirked as Gerald smiled.

A scrambling of footsteps caught his attention; making their way towards them with cans of soda in their backpacks, the blonde haired girl known as Helga and her close friend Phoebe walked towards them, Helga's grin growing as she saddled up next to the wet blonde haired boy, a quick peck on the cheek causing him to blush furiously. The laughter from Gerald died in his throat as Phoebe mimicked her friend, causing both girls to laugh at the stunned faces of the two boys.

It was the end of schooling for all four of them; although the party for the whole class would take place at Gerald's in two days time, this private gathering was only meant for the four of them. With the soft music playing in the background, the four began to party, enjoying each other's company and reminiscing over their past memories together. Arnold though lay back as the three of them discussed the last prank they pulled on the school before they left and sighed to himself; there was something about watching Helga and Gerald fight it out with Phoebe over whose plan was the best that made him wish he could have his whole life devoted to this.

But he knew better than to try and dwell too long on the past; it was wonderful, magnificent even, but he knew that he had a long way to go in his life and the excitement he felt now would only grow over time. Helga was moving away soon, how long he had with her he still wasn't sure of; he had entertained the thought of teaching or counselling, but deep down he still wanted to travel. Although he had been quick to point out the absurdity of Gerald's plan, opening a bar in town might not be too bad of an idea, providing Gerald could make it work. Earn some quick cash then leave and travel; not the worst idea he had had. But it probably wouldn't work.

He shook his head as he heard Phoebe mention something about the constant threat of college life and her love life with Gerald. "Phebs, you'll find a way," Helga said dismissively, smiling as Phoebe's eyes began to sparkle with hope.

"That reminds me…" Gerald smiled as he pressed a button on the stereo Arnold and he had moved onto the roof for tonight.

Slowly fading in, a soft, gentle and quiet piece of music began to play, its echoing sounds singing like angels in their ears as Gerald took a hold of Phoebe's hand and led her away from Arnold and Helga. With due care, Gerald and Phoebe began to dance, remaining still as they turned slowly on the spot, every now and then giggling or sighing happily to one another. Arnold smiled happily for his best friend as he watched them twirl as one on the spot; it was almost strange to imagine Gerald ever settling down, but then again he had found the one girl who could balance him out. Their smiles warmed his heart as he watched them twirl before smiling to one another again. A cough from his side though snapped him out of the day dream.

"Are you going to ask me to dance football head?" Helga asked sweetly with a hint of mockery in her voice.

"I never thought you would ask dear," he grinned, causing Helga to blush.

Taking her soft hand, Arnold led her towards the other two and began to follow their example. As the music began to soar, Arnold felt his heart flutter as he looked into her eyes once more; shining like diamonds, he felt himself being lost in her loving gaze.

"Isn't this just magical?" he heard her whisper against his chest.

Arnold could only smile as he held her close. He had grown to be only slightly taller than her, but that hadn't stopped her from calling him Shortman whenever she got the chance or her pet nickname for him: football head.

"I wish for once I could freeze this memory and remain in it forever," said Helga.

Arnold paused for a moment before continuing. "Why would you only want to freeze this moment?"

Helga didn't reply; Arnold suspected something, but decided to drop it for now. She was right; this moment was too precious to ruin it.

"So what are you planning to wear to the party?"

"Something elegant; something beautiful and majestic that will leave every boy in the room gazing at me," Helga smiled.

"Helga, we are still dating aren't we?"

Helga smirked, kissing him on the cheek. "Of course we are Romeo; didn't think I'd forget after how long it took me to catch you, did you?"

Holding her close, Arnold continued to hold her closely to his chest and he glanced over and saw Gerald and Phoebe locked together at the lips. He was tempted to say something, but feeling her caressing hand on his face, Arnold turned back to Helga and met her lips as they continued to dance under the starlit sky.

D & F

Arnold stood over the stove cooking, the ever present Gerald beside him as they awaited Phoebe's arrival. Her work as a lawyer had seen her taking on more cases lately, something she attributed to a rise in common criminal crimes, or something like that. Whatever it might have been, all Arnold knew it meant was later nights at work, which suited Gerald and Arnold just fine. They had closed the bar for the night, much to the disappointment of some of their regulars, but they had reasoned the early closure to remain later tomorrow night; of course it was their intension to work late tomorrow night given it would be a Saturday, but shutting earlier tonight allowed them some more rest.

Having started to return to work, Arnold had started to gain some more composure in his life, but a small part of him still felt uneasy.

"So I said to the young kid he should leave before I told his parents," Gerald finished as he regaled to Arnold about finding a young kid in the bar alone.

A sad smile crept across his lips as he looked at Arnold, as he added some of the beef to the pan. "I wish you'd stop lying to me though Arnold."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Every time we open, you're looking for her; as soon as the elevator doors to our apartment open, you're scanning for her."

Arnold shook his head and continued his browning of the meat. "I just think you should move on now man; you've had long enough."

"I can't Gerald; after being with her for so long, no one can ever match up to her," he shot back at him, continuing his work.

Gerald took a sip of the wine in his hand and yawned; Phoebe would be here soon. "You do realise we are talking about Helga G. Pataki, mono-brow girl who as a child threatened to beat you up every time she saw you?" he smiled slyly, earning a punch from Arnold.

"I was surprised to find out about her poetry though; and the whole shrine thing? I think Lila could have matched her devotion to you, bowing and saying you are ever so nice my lord," he said in his best imitation of Lila and curtsied.

Arnold smirked as he added to the sauces and vegetables to the cooked meat. "Have you put the rice on yet?"

Gerald stood to attention and saluted him before heading to the microwave to check on its progress. "Sure you put enough water in?"

Arnold nodded as Gerald rejoined him. "So how are things with Phoebe?"

"They're going smooth my man; couldn't wish for it to be better."

Arnold added the last of the sauce and turned to his long time friend. "When are you going to pop the question?"

Gerald's face grew paler as Arnold's smirk grew. "That's not something…what would…I mean I've…that's not funny man," Gerald stuttered, blushing as Arnold laughed.

"Come on Gerald; you two are perfect for one another; what's stopping you from tying the knot?"

Gerald leant back against the counter. "I don't know man; I want to, but it doesn't feel like the right time. I mean we are planning to take that trip to New Zealand at some point; I thought maybe there, but the girl is still trying to sort out her life."

"All the more reason you should sweep her off her feet and make her feel special; you can't wait forever Gerald."

"I do make her feel special anyway," Gerald smiled, earning a smile from Arnold, "but that's not the point. I don't know what it is, but something has been off about her lately; something I can't put my finger on..."

"I hope you don't mean me," came a voice from the hall way. A few seconds later and Phoebe walked into the kitchen, her hair done up and business suit still as spotless and meticulously clean as it had been that morning.

"Never; I was just talking with my man about one of the girls at work. She must be upset or something, because she hasn't been too cheery lately," Gerald said casually, earning a wink from Arnold and a shrug from Phoebe.

"That's fine; I'm starving though. Can we eat yet?" she groaned as she checked her watch; luckily it would be the weekend tomorrow, otherwise the late night might kill her.

After sitting down to eat, Phoebe and Gerald joined Arnold on the couches with their drinks, talking idly into the night. Covering Phoebe's latest case to the mystery of the upset girl, Gerald yawned and with a great effort bid them goodnight before heading to his apartment. Arnold smiled briefly before turning his attention to the wine in his hands, his sudden interest in the drink catching Phoebe's attention.

"Have you had a chance to use it Arnold?" she asked sweetly.

Arnold lazily looked up and shook his head. "I can't find anything to write about," he lied, hoping she would drop the subject.

Phoebe looked at him for a moment before shrugging and sipping from her glass. "If you say so Arnold."

Not hearing her last words, Arnold was already miles away; he was back on the roof, swaying gently under the stars with a familiar and radiant young blonde haired girl in his arms, her eyes locked into his with grim determination. He could savour the taste of her lips on his, the scent of watermelon lingering in his smell. She moved closer to him, holding him tightly as she moved her lips to his once more…

"Arnold?"

Looking around puzzled, Phoebe watched him cautiously as he put his glass down. "Sorry what were you saying?"

"I was asking if you had heard from Helga lately," she said, following Arnold's example and putting it down.

"I haven't," he muttered softly. _I wish I had._

"Oh; well she's coming back to town on Monday for a catch up. I was wondering if you wanted to join us."

Feeling his face begin to flush and heart rapidly beat to the sound of the dripping tap in the kitchen, Arnold looked away from Phoebe. "I'm not so sure that is a good idea Phoebe; we didn't exactly part on good terms."

Phoebe sighed. "Well, if you change your mind, you're more than welcome to come."

Taking her leave, Arnold watched her leave and began to tidy up the glasses. It was nearly two in the morning, but Saturday was a late starter anyway. His mind was already numb from the lack of sleep and alcohol that he found himself shaking his head in the shower as he tried to wash away the grime from the day. A gentle voice echoed in his head as he began to wash his hair: _I need you Arnold._ His eyes opening at the last of her words, Arnold's eyes locked on a silhouette on the outside of the shower glass. Rinsing his hair Arnold carefully turned off the water and stepped out. Grabbing a towel, he walked towards the balcony in his room and watched.

Swaying gently in the breeze, Arnold could make out a shadow, not clear but one that resembled his long lost lover. Tentatively he headed out onto the balcony and gazed out on the night life. The town was quiet, its breath seemingly caught in its throat as it waited for him to speak, to say anything that would break the deadly silence that hung around his neck like a chain and ball. Everything in him was growing; his loss, his want, his desire and his love for her.

"Helga," he whispered ever so softly to the night air as he broke down crying.

D & F

"Thanks Mark; and give my regards to Jenny," Gerald smiled as he handed the change to the plainly dressed man. Receiving thanks, Gerald turned to Arnold who continued to pour the drinks effortlessly, earning attention from man and woman alike.

Gerald shook his head as Arnold poured them easily, a line of ten filled with pin point precision as the women closest to the bar swooned over his skills, and masculine frame. The boy had girls on him all the time at work; it was hard enough to close the bar at night, let alone stop the rush for when the bar opened during the afternoon. He could have any of them if he so desired, but Gerald knew his friend better than that; a gentleman to the very end, he knew Arnold only had a spot for one girl.

Grabbing a hold of the tray of ice near Arnold's working area; Gerald smiled as Arnold grabbed a hold of some of the ice and flung it in the air, landing gracefully into the soft drinks being served to two young boys.

"I'm going out back for a second to get more ice; you're the boss now," Gerald laughed as Arnold grinned back.

It had become a running joke that whenever one of them was out back, the other would become the boss of the bar. It had led to numerous laughs, the most common being Gerald's choice of music against Arnold's; once the jazz was on, Gerald would on average be back in the bar serving in four seconds, often meaning that the 'neutral' choice of music would once again be played. Without second thoughts to the music playing, Arnold began to serve the customers effortlessly.

It was late afternoon approaching night when Arnold finally heard Gerald mention something about needing more ice again. It was true they had been going through a lot lately, but this was getting beyond even Arnold's understanding; they were popular, but why the sudden interest? Normally they would work late, but the increasing lateness of the times they closed was beginning to worry him; the whole town hadn't become drunks over night had they?

Business anyway was good as he served another woman; sure he missed the chance to travel, but for now he had friends in his life that cared for him and that was all he needed. Sure it wouldn't long now anyway till their trip overseas; perhaps then he could start afresh and find someone. Handing the change as he passed the drink to the lady, Arnold sighed and stretched his back; he needed to rest. _There will be plenty of that after tonight,_ he thought as he watched some of the usuals leave the bar.

A feeling of dread washed over him as he placed the washed glasses onto the counter and behind it; a breeze, one Arnold had not smelt or felt in a long while blew through the doors, catching him and sending his mind into freefall. Shaking it off, Arnold's eye sight became entranced as he watched a young lady walk towards him, her hair pulled back and eyes hidden by a pair of black sunnies. Complemented by a light brown trench coat, Arnold would have normally shaken it off, but something in his mind alerted him to this girl's presence.

This woman was no ordinary woman; she felt different to the others he had served. He couldn't pick it, but something about her hair set him off; sure she was blonde, but the chances of it being her would only have further caused his panic to rise. Crushing his thoughts about it, Arnold tried to smile as she came to a standstill at the counter, resting against it easily.

"How may I help you?" he asked, his heart suddenly racing.

"It's been a long time football head," the stranger replied before removing her sunglasses.

Arnold would have given anything to have been invisible in that moment; he would have traded his life not to be here in this place of all places in the world. His heart was caught in his mouth as he tried to remain calm but it was proving useless. Removing the glasses, Arnold looked into a pair of crystal blue eyes that pierced his heart to the core. The one girl he had loved, hated and needed more than any other had returned: _Helga_.

**A/N: I'm trying for an update a week, hopefully. Please R & R; I do appreciate the time it takes you to review it**** and let me know what you think, good or bad.**** I ****would ****also ****like to thank**** loonytunecrazy**** for giving me the first review for this story; you rock! **


	3. Chapter III: Finding another Time

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to Jilly and loonytunecrazy for reviewing; it's wonderful to know that you like the story and I thank you.

Chapter Three: Finding another Time

It is often said that some things are caused by fate, others by a pre-determined destiny or choice; at this particular moment of his life however, Arnold felt like everything had come back to bite him. How she had come to his bar in amongst all those in the world he did not know. Arnold held his breath as he looked at her, his fear threatening to engulf him as he stood rooted to the spot, his hands the only thing moving as he exchanged the money from Helga. Darting for anyway out, he saw a girl cower behind the bar door and he knew what was going on; Phoebe sighed and walked towards him, her face hidden as she tried to focus on Helga and avoid the glare Arnold gave her.

"Thank you Arnold; are you ready to talk Phebs?" Helga asked casually, earning a quick nod from Phoebe who followed hurriedly after her close friend.

Dumbfounded over what had happened, Arnold was snapped out of his thoughts as Gerald came to his side, looking at his girl and turning slightly paler than before. "Isn't that Pataki?"

Arnold nodded his head; he knew Phoebe had mentioned meeting her later, but there was something about this that made his blood boil. Gripping the counter tightly, Arnold turned to Gerald carefully. "Did you know?"

Gerald looked at him oddly. "Did I know about Helga coming here? No; this is the first I've known about her coming back. Is there something wrong about her being here? I could ask her to leave," he whispered as he served another of the patrons.

"No leave her be; Phoebe has brought her here for a reason," he said dismissively.

Taking the lead, Gerald took over the orders for the remainder of the night, alternating with Arnold every once in a while. Trying to keep himself distracted proved to be harder than before; every time he glanced away from his work area he was watching Helga talk happily with Phoebe, no doubt regaling each other with their tales of the past, but there was something about seeing her here again that felt like he was being stabbing him in the heart.

Shaking it off, the last of the patrons began to leave as the clock hit midnight. The cleaning up and checking of supplies was quick and sharp that night, meaning as they locked up, Phoebe and Helga stood awaiting them, their chatting still going strong. Gerald tried to keep himself next to Arnold to avoid any chance of the blonde girl being able to talk to him, something Arnold was grateful for as they made their way back to the apartments.

Lit along the side streets, the stars were out in force as Arnold tried to keep his eyes off Helga's form; he couldn't help but wish she was still in his arms as they danced a top the roof top of Sunset Arms. A quick pinch though to his arm kept his thoughts in check as they came to the apartments. Time could not have gone slower for him as they ascended to the top floor, opening up to the two apartment doors opposite each other. He assumed they would be crashing after eating, but upon seeing Gerald and Phoebe being followed into their apartment by Helga, he shrugged and went in to his own, thankful for the chance to collect himself.

Without hesitating he headed for the shower and turned it on; getting in after removing his clothes, Arnold stood still underneath the shower head, letting the warm and comforting water wash over him and his mind, slowly removing all those thoughts connected to Helga.

_I can't believe it; how am I supposed to face her after all that has happened? I can't believe Phoebe would do this to me, not even tell me that she would be here…well she told me she would be here on Monday but now? I'll just have to tell them I'm sick tomorrow; I can't face her again, not like this,_ he thought to himself as he dried himself. Wrapping the towel around him, Arnold walked out into the kitchen.

As much as he wished to see Helga there, standing in her apron and brandishing him with a grin that would set his world on fire, Arnold breathed in a sigh of relief as he headed to the kitchen and began sorting out a quick snack before bed. A knock from his front door was followed by a quick open and close; his attention was caught as Gerald walked in and slumped onto the couch. Moving to the stove to make some eggs, Arnold cracked them into a bowl and began to mix.

"What's up Gerald?" he asked as he added some milk.

With a trademark grin, Gerald looked to Arnold and shook his head. "Girl time my man; I've been kicked out for the night," he laughed as Arnold added some salt and pepper.

"Couldn't you sleep somewhere else in the apartment? It's not that I don't want you here," he replied hastily as Gerald looked at him questioningly, "It's just I thought I'd be alone tonight and have some peace and quiet."

"And I give you that," Gerald winked as Arnold headed to the stove. Moving up beside him, Gerald looked at Arnold carefully before moving to the fridge to remove some soft drink for the two of them; wine was not an option this late at night for either of them.

"We need to talk Arnold," Gerald finally spoke after pouring the drinks and taking a large sip from it.

"What about Gerald? The bar is going fine; I know we need some more ice-"

"This isn't about the ice."

"Then what is it about?"

"The reason I am spending my night here and not in the arms of my girlfriend," Gerald said coolly, all hint of mischief gone from his face.

Arnold continued cooking, trying to ignore him as best as he could. "Helga is here Arnold and from the moment she took a step into the bar, you have been hooked on her. I know we never talked about what happened between the two of you out of friendship, but I need to know what is going on."

"This has nothing to do with Helga," Arnold lied.

"You see this is where I don't think you're being totally honest with me my man; why don't you tell me what happened? I'm your best friend Arnold."

"I don't want to talk about Gerald."

"Fine," he said taking another sip of the lemonade, "Maybe I should just ask Phoebe about it…or even better I could go straight to the source and ask Helga about it instead."

Shooting him an angry glare, Gerald backed away slightly from Arnold. "You really want to know what happened. Fine; we broke up. She cheated on me with some guy she barely knew and tried to pin the blame on me. I wanted to marry that girl, but now she means nothing to me."

Gerald pondered this for a moment before speaking. "Are you really sure she would do that to you? I mean this is the same girl who spent her time as a child making a shrine of you and writing love poetry for most of her life about you."

Arnold didn't reply; plating his cooked food, he handed some to Gerald and the two of them made their way to the couches, slumping onto them and relishing in the softness and warming embrace they provided after their long day. Gerald and Arnold both ate in silence as Gerald tried to ask him what made him sure, but eventually gave up after seeing the look on his face.

"Well, what are your plans for tomorrow? Considering it will be a late start as normal," Gerald mused.

"Sleep and maybe some reading; I can't seem to shake this headache I've had for a while now, so maybe the rest will do me some good," Arnold smiled as he leant back into the cushions.

"I'm hearing that; but you should change your plans," Gerald yawned as he leant back.

Sitting back up, Arnold eyed Gerald closely. "What have you planned?"

"You're coming out with my lady and Helga tomorrow for lunch; there is no argument to be had here Arnold," he said holding up his hand at the sign of Arnold wanting to leap at him. "It will do you some good anyway Shortman."

Rolling into the cushions, Gerald muttered a goodnight as Arnold watched him, his body frozen; lunch with Helga? Sighing and admitting defeat, Arnold walked to the wall and turned the lights off, leaving the room in darkness. With a last look at the clock on the kitchen wall, Arnold trudged off to his room, closing it silently behind himself as he lay down on the bed, exhausted and wishing to be far away from where he was right now. He knew he didn't have a chance of avoiding it tomorrow; but it didn't make it easier to accept it. Breaking his rule, Arnold moved to his bedside and removed a small glass and a bottle of whisky; pouring a small amount into it, Arnold took a sip before he lay back down.

What was he going to do? He already hated the idea of seeing her again, let alone facing and confronting her again after all that had happened. Surely she had moved on; he must have moved on by now…right? Sitting up he held his head in his hands, the drink on his bedside table; was he over her? Did he really mean what he said to Gerald? A part of him wanted to believe it; but the other half still longed for her embrace and touch. _Damn it, _he thought as he reached for the drink on his bedside table.

Instead of wrapping his fingers around the glass that promised his relief from pain, his grip tightened around a black book. Bringing it towards himself, Arnold held the book in front of his eyes, the dark night of the room making it hard to watch the pages open before him as he scanned what he had written. _What was Phoebe thinking? She must have known this would happen; it's probably best that I throw it away,_ he thought furiously. Raising it above his head, Arnold waited to watch it fly across the room and land spectacularly in the bin ridding him of any further distraction. He held his breath; nothing happened. Again, he waited. But after a while nothing happened.

Curious, Arnold brought it back to his eye line and sighed. _I guess I could give it a shot_.

Opening it to a clean page, Arnold grabbed a hold of the pen and began to write from memory…

_It was the second Saturday after starting senior high; I'd been given a large amount of homework and it was no surprise either. The way teachers reacted was understandable as this is our senior years; but to have to watch as Stinky fainted during the first lesson on Friday was beyond anything I'd seen yet; I tried to help as best as I could while helping him to the nurse; poor guy had fainted at the sight of the task being put forward. But that still didn't explain my current predicament with the homework piling up before me._

_Sure things had improved since junior high; I no longer had to fight with everyone about Helga being a great girl anymore, but that was the problem; people were convinced that I liked her. But as the sunlight grew dim on my Saturday afternoon, not everything was bad; it was 4:52 P.M. and I knew as I heard the window above me open ever so softly that only one person would here to see me after getting all her work done in record time; Helga. Turning around, I smiled as I watched her shock become covered with a look of glee, running at me and hugging me before I could react._

"_I thought you weren't meant to come here for another two hours?" I asked, secretly glad she was here anyway._

_She fidgeted in her pockets for a moment before waving her hand casually as if removing a fly from her presence. "Whatever football head; I'm surprised you haven't offered me a soda yet," she smiled as I handed her a can of soda._

_Removing myself from the confines and duties of the work before me, I made my way over to the sofa, followed closely by Helga who seemed more relieved than anything to be sitting down after her trek to my place. I suppose it was weird not to be doing school work for the first time in a while, but I guess we needed the break._

_For a while we talked about nothing in particular, but for some reason today I couldn't help but be mesmerised by her; I may have appeared calm and normal on the outside, but it took everything in me not to jump up and down at seeing her. Maybe it was the soda, but I tried to keep a calm face as she asked what we would do for dinner, considering she would no doubt be spending the night here…once again. I suggested Thai._

"_We did that last week Arnold; what about Chinese?" she asked, her eyes battering at me repeatedly; I hated it when she used her secret weapon on me for dinner; I wish she used it on me all the time._

"_Two weeks ago; besides why don't we get one of your old favourites?" I grinned, watching her smile grow until she formed an almost evil grin on her face._

"_Pizza," she licked her lips, dashing to the phone in my room and dialling the number with such speed that it left me wondering if she had been planning for this the entire time._

_As she talked away, I tried to get a hold of myself; I'm meant to be her best friend after all, I needed to get a hold of myself. But as she turned to me and winked before resuming her conversation, I felt myself nearly faint. How I had never noticed her body before was beyond me; her blonde hair touched the tips of her waist, her figure now far more developed than ever before. No longer the bully, she had allowed herself to become more girly; however she remained the tough nut that we always knew she was. She was tomboyish, but I didn't care._

_The jeans she wore and pink shirt were highlighting her in a way I had never seen before; and her eyes, they shone like blue crystals in the sunshine of a perfect afternoon. Holding myself together mentally, I knew something had happened; after thinking it could never happen, never entertaining the idea in my head, Helga had become what I wanted. I loved her…not like, I _loved_ her. The words seemed to play in my mind repeatedly, never making sense as I tried to convince myself it wasn't possible. I couldn't be in love right?_

"_And I thought I spaced out a lot; earth to football head," she said, snapping her fingers in front of my eyes._

_Like a shot to the heart I awoke from my dream and looked at her; her face showed worry as I felt my smile dim at the look of confusion on her face. "What's wrong Arnold?" she asked, her hand resting on my shoulder as I turned away from her. I couldn't do this to her._

"_It's nothing Helga," I lied._

"_Tell me what is bothering you or Old Betsy is coming out of retirement for a visit," she smirked._

_I turned to her, but I couldn't face her; no matter what fears I had before, I knew she deserved to hear the truth. I knew she might hate me for it, but she deserved the best. Time had passed before I could even look her in the eye again; those crystals shone so brightly I wished I could lose myself in them forever._

"_Helga there is something I need to tell you," I began, catching her attention instantly. "I don't know how to say this, and I don't even know if you will forgive me for saying it, but you need to know the truth. Helga, I-"_

_A knock at the door was followed by Grandpa walking in with the pizza, his other hand holding more soda. If ever there was a time to be interrupted, I guess now was as good as any. "Here you go kids," he smiled his toothy grin, handing us the food before heading back downstairs._

_To say I was distant during dinner was an understatement; we both seemed to eat in silence, occasionally muttering a word of understanding at the quality and amazement of the pizza Helga had ordered. This was the only thing Helga said she could never live without, and after licking my lips from the sauce on my mouth, I had to agree with her; nothing seemed to matter as we ate, my only worry being her good memory. And as we finished the last of it, I knew she would ask. We had moved to the floor, but it still felt like she was right beside me, despite being across from me. Her beanie although slightly tattered and worn still hung comfortably on her head._

"_So what were you going to tell me Arnold?" she asked as I nearly gagged on my drink._

_I could feel my face grow hotter as I looked at her; I prayed it wasn't red as I faced her, but from her look I could tell I was. I guess I had to do it. "Helga, I…I don't quite know how to say this. But I want you to promise me that you won't look at me differently because of it."_

_She nodded her head. Sighing, I sucked in a deep breath. "Helga, I love you."_

_You could hear a pin drop; for the first time in my life I felt like I had failed; I knew she would hate me, I knew that after all I had done she would only see it as an attempt to try to get with her. I couldn't stand the silence and yet I hadn't looked her in the eye._

"_Helga?" _

**A/N: Sorry to leave you on a cliff hanger, but it seemed appropriate considering how the story had been developing so far; do not fear for I shan't make you wait for long. The next chapter is already in progress and will be up in a day or two. As always please R & R, it means so much to me**.


	4. Chapter IV: Memories in the Rain, Part 1

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to MidniteRaine, loonytunecrazy, Jilly and Anonymous Latina for reviewing; you keep me going for this story and I thank you all so very much. And to MidniteRaine; thanks for your feedback, I hope this keeps meeting and surpassing the standard I've tried to set for this story and yours too.

Chapter Four: Memories in the Rain, Part 1

_Sitting with my head bowed, I knew there was nothing else to be said after what I had done; she would never forgive me and I deserved to be yelled at and taunted for having a crush on my best friend._

"_Helga?" I asked her timidly, the fear in my chest growing as I tried to keep myself from crying. I should never have told her my feelings; now she would never be able to look at me the same ever again._

_Looking up, I wasn't ready for what came next as in one fluid motion Helga had me on my back and was kissing me so tenderly that I couldn't believe at all what was going on. Lost in my own world and feeling her lips against mine, I could only hear the mumbled yet amused confession of the blonde haired angel from on top of me. "Silly boy; I suppose I wasn't obvious enough. I love you Arnold," she purred into my ear as I savoured her lips on mine once more…_

Placing the book down, Arnold took a long sip from his drink and shivered; it was early on the Sunday morning, but he knew he would need some more rest. That book had done something to him, convinced him or tricked him into revealing something that only he knew or understood personally. He was a teenager then, but time had kept the memory perfectly preserved in his mind. The last of the glasses contents vanished from view as he drank the rest, holding his breath as he closed his eyes.

He knew what would happen too tomorrow; he would walk down the street and see her, tell her that he had to go and vanish from her life forever. He could leave and start fresh and forget about her and her wonderful lips. Shuddering at the thought of Gerald catching him in his jocks again, Arnold placed the book on his side table and carefully placed the glass on top, retreating under the blanket as his eyes closed themselves at sudden readiness.

D & F

Time seemed to pass way too slowly for Arnold's liking the next morning; his slumber had meandered onto close to midday, but even then he had enjoyed the relaxation and peace that had come from his late night confession. Upon seeing the book neatly tucked underneath the glass, he had begun to think it was all a dream. The tiredness had seemingly eased off him today, something he had not noticed in a long time. With more energy than normal he had made breakfast for himself and Gerald, his long time friend still tired but holding up his usual cheerful mood.

As he cooked once more, Arnold wondered whether it was staged or planned for once they had finished eating and cleaned up, the two girls had arrived at the apartment door. It was Arnold who would slip away to his room as Gerald welcomed them in, preferring not to see or hear Helga.

For a while he remained still, only the thumping of his heart the only source of sound in his room. His head tucked in his arms, Arnold heard a gentle and soft knock at his door; he knew Gerald would come in regardless of what he may have said to try and make him leave, but he appreciated his concern as he closed the door behind him and walked over to the bed where Arnold sat huddled in a ball, his eyes fixed on the wall opposite him. Silence wasn't his enemy here; he knew Gerald was only waiting for him to speak and explain what he was going to do about Helga.

"No one is going to make you come out today Arnold; except for maybe Phoebe," he grinned as Arnold tried to hide his smile. "I think you should get out there and confront her about this now; but it really is up to you buddy; I can only help you so far my man."

Gerald could hear the two girls talking softly out in the living room, their discussion no doubt focussed on the place they would go to for lunch. He could hear Arnold's breathing but he still wasn't convinced that his friend was entirely here; taking a quick glance at him his eyes appeared hazy and unaware of anything else in the room. What was going on with him?

"What is your verdict?" Gerald eventually asked him, seeing his friends eyes slowly make their way towards him.

"Not today Gerald; I can't," Arnold mumbled. Gerald sighed deeply but knew he wasn't in any position to make Arnold go. He could spend all day trying to convince him, but nothing would change the fear he had to seeing her. Resigning himself to defeat, Gerald made his way to the door, leaving his huddled friend exactly where he had seen him before.

As he did, Arnold saw something flicker across his eye sight, an image that felt like a ghost in his memory, something that shouldn't have been there but it was. He hadn't seen it before and it frightened him deeply. Standing atop a chair, Arnold had caught a glimpse of himself, his eyes fearful and smile sad and lonely. No longer waiting for a friend, he had kicked the chair away.

"Gerald it happened," he whispered hoarsely, pausing Gerald at the door handle.

"What happened; what are you talking about Arnold?" Gerald asked, turning around to see Arnold's pale face.

"I tried to do it didn't I?" he asked, his voice like a child caught in the wrong.

Something didn't make sense here for Gerald; he had seen his best friend lose it sometimes and even go close to insanity, but there was something about his that worried him, if not frightened him as Arnold held out his wrists for Gerald to see. A couple of scars matched themselves perfectly on both wrists, their faint traces testament to the rope that had bound them.

Taking his place by his friend's side, Gerald waited for him to speak. "Why didn't you tell me Gerald?" Arnold asked his pleading cutting Gerald to the core.

"It wasn't something to be brought up; besides, I thought you knew," Gerald said, avoiding his friend's eyes.

"But you were my best friend; you told me everything just as I told you everything."

Gerald turned to look at him, his ability to hold in his own tears becoming increasingly harder. "Arnold, I thought you knew so we never talked about it; I thought you wanted to forget and not mention it so I didn't."

"But what happened to me?" he asked, his focus only on the next few words that would change all that he had known.

"Arnold I'm not sure how I am meant to tell you…it was just after Helga had broken up with you but…I can't tell you man. It hard to know you're still here sometimes," Gerald said, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"Gerald I must know."

The room fell into a cold chill, the wind dying as everything froze into one moment in time; Gerald had thought that this time would never come and even as it did today, his fear and anxiety was threatening to overtake him. He knew better than anyone what the pain and horror would do to Arnold at the realisation of what had truly happened. But it wasn't making it easier to tell him just what exactly had happened; a sad look crossed his face as he faced Arnold, his tears starting to fall down his cheeks. Finally Gerald muttered the words he had hoped never to ever say, the words stabbing themselves into the numbness that became Arnold's heart once more.

"Arnold…you tried to kill yourself."

D & F

Arnold sat down on the couch, a warm cup of coffee being handed to him by his long time friend as he wrapped the blanket around himself more tightly. The afternoon chill had well and truly set in as his fingers responded to the warmth the mug gave off; no one but Gerald sat with him, his eyes half closed but focussed on him intently. He hated the attention; he wanted nothing more than to be stuck in the darkness and be left alone. But he had to know.

"When did I try to…you know," he stuttered, unable to even convince himself that Gerald had said those words.

"The doctor did say your memory might be a little fuzzy and jaded after it; I guess you deserve to know now," Gerald muttered, trying to focus the event to his mind.

"You know how you were after your break up with Helga," he said, seeing the look of pain of Arnold's face and deciding to continue, "Well, it happened that fateful night three and a half years ago…"

_I walked by the restaurant and smiled; I had seen her dressed up so many times before, but something about seeing my wonderful girl in blue made me shiver and smile proudly as she snuggled in closer to me, her alluring scent drifting tantalisingly close to my range of smell. Phoebe let out a giggle as I snuggled closer to her, her hand wrapped around mine tightly. It had become a wonderful night for the two of us; our fifth anniversary as a couple had become all the more wonderful as this was the first one for the two of us outside of school._

_I held her tightly as we started our way home, the meal and star lit sky above us a perfect beginning for what we had in store for the remainder of the night. I did feel bad for my man though; sighing I tried to hide it from Phoebe. Bless the girl though for she knew me too well and picked up on it without thinking about it._

"_You feel bad for him don't you?" she asked gently, her soothing voice acting like a drug in my mind as I smiled sadly._

"_Would it be wrong if I didn't? He's my best friend, but after what happened today it just doesn't seem right anymore," I said, hoping I could keep myself together for her sake and the public's._

"_I would think less of you if you didn't care for your best friend Gerald; but he did say for you to enjoy yourself and have a good time," she smiled softly, trying to help me forget the pain I felt for him._

"_I know but it's just odd you know," I replied, stopping at her favourite ice-cream store for some late night desert._

_Asking for the usual and paying the man, we both continued our way home. "What is odd Gerald?" Phoebe asked, savouring the sweetness from her ice-cream. She had developed a love for chocolate fudge lately and I wasn't about to stop her from continuing to enjoy that outlet she had from her studies._

"_It's just something I've noticed about Arnold lately; probably just in my mind," I said dismissively as I continued to enjoy my ice-cream._

"_If you're thinking I won't want to know then you are wrong Gerald; what do you think is up with Arnold?" she pouted._

_Now I don't know about you, but whenever a girl pouts it normally means that their desire to know what you're thinking is going to never end until you tell them. I can remember trying to hold out for a week against my wonderful ladies charms when I was in year nine; I had told her I had picked out a special gift for her for our first year anniversary. And for the remainder of that week she would pout, flirt and basically stalk me until I told her what it was. I know now it would be wiser never to mention it, but at the time I felt like I would die if I didn't at least mention it to her._

_Luckily for me Arnold had the gift and held onto it, because one night she broke into my bedroom and I caught her before she could open my closet. So I had to tell her because she broke down before me and told me how much she didn't deserve me. Funnily it was only later I found out that she had planned for that moment the entire time anyway. I sighed and paused for a moment, trying to catch my thoughts._

"_I can't put my finger on it, but doesn't it feel like Arnold has been…you know less like the normal Arnold we've known and loved?"_

_Phoebe continued to walk beside me as I spoke, her face remaining clear and unworried at my suggestion. "You might not be too far wrong there Gerald; Arnold's actions lately seem to have become irrational, unpredictable and unsure. His whole presence has changed dramatically," she spoke softly._

_I nodded. "I guess so; but I can't help but worry for my man; I haven't seen him this low since early junior high."_

_I knew she would say the next thing without hesitation, and for once I wish I had never heard her say it. "I know; tell you what, I'll go see him myself and see if I can cheer him up while you go get some rest when we get home? You're exhausted; no argument Gerald," she glared at me sternly as I opened my mouth to disagree with her, but I gave in._

_It was just after midnight as we made our way happily up to the apartment, my little kiss with her outside Arnold's door being followed by a quick wink before she took the spare key and opened the door to his apartment. I had opened our door and made my way to the kitchen; my tie was off before I had opened the fridge door and began to drink the remainder of the soft drink from last night._

_As I settled onto the sofa though, I heard a sound that made my whole body shiver in fear, my mind race and heart accelerate to a level I had never known possible. I knew that kind of sound; I had heard it happen so many times before and knew when you heard the heart break it often brought with it so much pain; it was the loss of someone dear. But what scared me more was who it belonged to; Phoebe._

"_Gerald!" I heard her call and before the last of the word had left her mouth, I was rushing to Arnold's apartment, my sole focus on protecting Phoebe._

_It was dimly lit as I burst through the open door way and looked around; no one was out in the kitchen and living room. Sobbing though caught my attention as I darted for the bedroom, the door only opened by an inch, but the light flooded the room brightly. For some reason I felt like the world around me slow down; it's hard to explain unless you've been there yourself. I peered into the room and what I saw still haunts me to this day. Lying on the door unconscious and bound with rope was Arnold, his face still and body frozen in place on the bedroom floor._

_Phoebe looked at me as she seemed to come to her senses; her phone was already out as I rushed to my buddies side and tried to remove the ropes that held his hands together; a chair kicked to the side sent more fear through me as I saw the bottle of alcohol beside his bed. My hands checked his wrists for a pulse, my own heart thumping in my head as I heard Phoebe hang up and begin to sob. My fingers darted around and around; I couldn't keep still as I tried to hold myself together…he couldn't have, he couldn't be._

_For a frozen minute of time I held my breath as I looked out over my close friend; although he appeared peaceful, I could see the hurt and pain in his face. Pulling him up close to me, I held him tightly as the tears slowly fell down my face; I never knew, I never thought he would go so far. Why hadn't I seen it? I could feel a small hand on my shoulder try and comfort me but I took no notice. One of my best friends, one I called my brother was in my arms; Arnold, I'm so sorry. I should never have left you alone._

_New faces moved in around me, their hands searching my friend over closely; I wanted to punch them, I wanted to scream and tell them to leave him alone, but a small hand entwined itself in mine as I turned to look for the source. Phoebe was already in tears, her dress now starting to soak with the tears that cascaded down her cheeks. As I watched his body being moved away, I moved as one with her, following him closely out of the apartment._

_Arnold, my dear friend and brother had tried to kill himself. His body was still and pulse gone; and there was nothing I could do to save him…_

Gerald sighed and stood up, taking his glass with him as he headed to the counter and made another drink. His eyes unmoved from the spot where Gerald had been sitting, Arnold's mind was in over drive, while his heart felt an odd numbness set in. Somewhere in the darkness of his own mind he felt a string become apparent to him, like a thread he had lost long ago. As he tried to grab a hold of it, he felt it come back to him; the drinking, the idea and the execution. It had all seemed so perfect; a fitting way to what had become his life. But why had he done it?

As Gerald sat down, his body weary and aching, he could see Arnold searching his eyes for any hint of the answer that seemed to elude him. He knew the answer; it was Helga. But only Arnold knew what had happened between the two of them; he had never mentioned it to Gerald, and he had known him for most of his life.

"Was there a reason I did this?" he asked fearfully, trying to avoid the answer he had locked away in his heart. Did he really want to know? He tried to think about it, but even the event had become hidden, covered by layers of darkness that would not let him peer into it and see what had caused him to go so far. Helga must have been the cause; the break up a reason. _But what had caused this to all turn sour?_ Arnold thought.

"There was a theory the doctor gave us…"

_Hours had passed, turning the late night into early morning when I saw the old man in the white coat leave the room and walk towards us. I could see a flicker of sadness on his face in his walk towards us; Phoebe's hand tightened around my own as I stood up for him. He was about an inch or so taller than me with wrinkles mainly around his eyes and throat; his dark grey hair was covered by a small beanie he wore atop his head, the grey moustache confirming he was indeed older than Phoebe and I combined. With an adjustment of his glasses he looked at me gravely; for some reason I didn't want to hear the words._

"_I have some good news and some bad news," he said, the words sparking some form of life into me as I looked at him expectantly._

"_The good news is that he is now in a stable, but serious condition; the wounds we found suggest a far more serious and dangerous threat however. The bad news is he may have received temporal memory loss; with the amount of alcohol he ingested, I would be surprised if he can remember any of his actions clearly ever again. If you would follow me," he said turning on his heel and walking towards the door that had become Arnold's._

_Phoebe held my arm tightly as he walked in behind him; the blind had been drawn and the light was minimal but I could still make out the sleeping form of my friend. A tube was in his mouth, no doubt helping him breathe as we watched his chest move up and down gently but with great effort._

"_I need to ask you two some questions though about his condition; the amount of alcohol and tying of his wrists has suggested something more disturbed; the bandages on his wrists should heal the wounds in time. But I would like to know if either of you two has noticed any irrational behaviour? Any acts that are out of character or have changed suddenly in the last few days or weeks?" he asked in a grave voice that made me think of an old retired army officer._

"_Recently he has been acting differently," Phoebe whispered softly._

_He nodded before continuing. "Has he experienced any recent trauma? Like an accident or maybe a divorce?"_

_We both shook our heads. "Nothing that we are aware of no; if there is something he hasn't told us about it," I answered. Phoebe fidgeted behind me, but I payed it no mind._

_The old man took a chart and scribbled away quickly before looking at us once again. "I know you might not want to discuss it, but we suspect Arnold tried to take his life because of depression; anti-depressants were found in his system."_

_All the blood in face felt like it drained away as he said those words, the realisation of Arnold's actions hitting me harder than I thought was possible; Phoebe clutched me tightly, her head resting on my shoulder as she began to sob. "Why would he do that?" I asked the voice that came out no longer my own._

"_Many reasons could attribute towards it, but I suspect above all that he was in grief or mourning for someone he loved. His stress levels were incredible when we first tested him and the change in behaviour may also prove it to be true."_

"_That is impossible; my man is the most positive person there is; he would never break no matter what…he just can't!" I yelled at the doctor. What did the old fool know anyway about my close friend? How could he pass judgement without even meeting him personally? _

_The old doctor sighed sadly. "When you have done this for as long as I have, you tend to notice the signs before needing to diagnose the problem. Everyone has a breaking point and I suspect that Arnold has found his."_

_Taking his leave, the doctor left us alone with Arnold for a while; I had never seen him so peaceful, yet troubled. Phoebe reached out for his hand and held it tightly, whispering for him to get better. I couldn't bear to watch him go again; slumping into the chair I did something I never thought I would do again in my life; for the first time in years I cried my heart out for Arnold._

**A/N: This is the intension from the start; if it seems out of character for Arnold to do this, well this is the exploration of Arnold going down a dark path in life. I do urge anyone who feels that they may be suffering from depression and has not sought help to please seek help as soon as possible. It is a serious condition and is not something to be taken lightly. I thank you for reading; please R & R if you can. I really do appreciate it. Memories in the Rain, Part 2 shall be up in a week or less.**


	5. Chapter V: Memories in the Rain, Part 2

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to MidniteRaine, Sandra-Pullman Pataki, loonytunecrazy, Anonymous Latina and Jilly; I thank you all for your reviews, and even though this chapter may not answer all questions, the answers are coming so hang tight.

Chapter Five: Memories in the Rain, Part 2

Earlier that Sunday…

Waking with a bitter taste in her mouth, Helga sighed at her dizzy eyes recognising the alcohol bottle near her pillow. Normally Helga would not have drunk so much on a Saturday night, but Phoebe had been so insistent about finishing the bottle that Helga could not refuse her best friend. Upon hearing a light snore to her right, Helga grinned as she watched Phoebe's soft sleeping form heave itself with breath, her glasses lopsided and leaving an imprint from her sleeping. The first rays of light had begun to stream in upon her face and she knew that they needed to get up; Phoebe had mentioned something about lunch with her, Gerald…and Arnold. The word felt like a poison in her mouth as she tried to mouth it to herself.

"Arnold," she whispered softly, the effort consuming her ability to stay awake.

Lying back down, Helga tried not to take notice of Phoebe's snoring and rolled over to face the couch. That boy; clutching her chest she tried not to sob. Alcohol always did make her more emotional; she should never have drunk anything. How her mother had done this for years was beyond her. She couldn't stop the hurt from growing again as she replayed the bar greeting in her head again and again…

"_I don't know about this Phebs; I mean we could just go back to your place and wait for them to finish; I'm sure there's a good movie on tonight," Helga said, trying to divert her best friend's path to the bar._

_The street side path was lit brightly as she checked her watch; it was nearing six by her guess as they rocked up beside a bench before the bar. She sat down and sighed deeply as Phoebe stopped and joined her. She knew her best friend wouldn't understand what had happened between her and Arnold; but it still felt like it was her fault. _It is my fault,_ Helga thought. She kept her head bowed, trying to remain calm without bursting into tears._

"_Phoebe…I…"_

"_Helga, you can't keep running from this forever," she spoke softly, as if to her own child._

_Helga looked at her and shook her head. "You don't understand Phoebe; he blames me for what happened…and it was my fault…I should never have done it," she whispered, her resolve leaving her with every passing moment. She could distract Phoebe and make a run for it; she just needed a little more time._

"_Helga I know it isn't the time for you to tell me what happened, but please understand that fear is irrational; it makes you want to run and hide when you know that meeting someone again is fairly simple and straight forward."_

_Helga smirked. "You make it sound like it was easy to do Phebs; Criminey," she muttered as two men walked past and wolf whistled at her. Her hands clenched, Helga felt like bringing old Betsy out of retirement…_

"_Let it go Helga," Phoebe said, taking note of her friend's new found aggression._

"_Phoebe, there are a million other things I would rather be doing than facing Arnold tonight; I mean what am I going to say to him after three years; hey Arnold, how's it going? Oh sorry for breaking your heart and smashing mine into a million pieces, let's be friends?"_

_Phoebe giggled at seeing Helga using her fists and becoming animated in her discussion to the street post she was using as Arnold. Helga turned to her and smiled, knowing how silly it must have been to see her fighting a street post…without any alcohol in her system. Phoebe rummaged through her handbag for a while before settling on one of her items; pulling it out Helga's heart began to race as she realised it was a small, faded notebook, one she felt was familiar but unknown to her. Carefully Phoebe handed it to Helga; taking it gently into her hands like a new born child, Helga nearly died when she opened the first few pages. It was the last of her works on Arnold…but how?_

"_Phoebe…when…who…what?" she stuttered._

"_Did you really think I'd let you destroy something you kept so preciously close to your heart for so long? When you told me to remove it from your sight and never let you see it again, well I did just that; I removed it from your sight, but I suspected that in time you may want to see it again," Phoebe smiled as Helga's puzzlement grew._

"_But I was so sure I watched you burn it; I watched you light the match and watched it burn till there was nothing left of it but the ashes of the pages I once wrote on."_

"_It was something else," Phoebe muttered softly; feeling that she should ask, Helga decided against it and continued to flip through the pages._

"_Phebs, I don't know what to say," Helga said, as if the life had left her body._

"_Just hang onto it for now Helga," Phoebe smiled as she took Helga's hand in her own and led her to the bar._

_Tucking it into her light brown trench coat, Helga adjusted her dark sunglasses as they came closer to the bar. She had to admit that even though she didn't usually travel through bars, this one certainly had the influences of Arnold and Gerald's unique styles. It was on a corner, the patrons outside matched by the patrons inside; styled like a cafe meeting a bar, tables outside where all covered by a shelter that became a part of the bar as she walked past some of what she assumed were the regulars._

_Roses were all around the sides, their aroma enticing her senses; beside her Phoebe took in a deep breath before turning to face her. Helga peered past her for a moment and caught sight of Gerald and Arnold working; her heart froze as Phoebe moved her out of Arnold's line of sight._

"_Helga, look at me; you are going to conquer this. You are going to go in there and order us some drinks," Phoebe said sternly._

_Helga looked around her for anyway out of here; it wasn't too hard to break Phoebe's grip and leave for the apartment She did have a spare key after all. But as she tried to pull from her, she could feel Phoebe tighten her grip on her._

"_Phoebe; what are you doing?" she whispered furiously as she tried to break away._

"_Nothing; I'm trying to help you-"_

"_You are trying to help me by forcing me to see Arnold again? You're madder than I thought," Helga said as she tried to struggle against her._

"_Helga please; we both know how much you miss him…he hasn't been the same since you left."_

_Helga paused. "What do you mean…?"_

"_I'll explain later; but for once I need you to do this, if not for Arnold's sake then most certainly for yours; you can't keep living in regret forever."_

_Releasing her grip, Phoebe stood back and nodded. "Go on."_

_Rubbing her arm, Helga sighed. Phoebe was right; she had to do this for herself. She couldn't keep running from Arnold forever; and it was only getting a drink right? Trying to convince herself that it would be over in a minute, Helga nodded and made her way to the bar door. Walking through the wooden doors, Helga could feel the world slow down around her; movements became blurred, slow and hard to make out as she felt his gaze on her: Arnold. There was nothing in her now; everything had become numb, her legs moving of their own accord. He couldn't have recognised her, but he was entranced by her she knew it…but why? After all she had done, did she really have such a pull over him?_

I could leave and never come back, _Helga thought as she closed the gap between her and Arnold, his face confused but still as magnificent as the day she had last seen him. _But do you really want to do that?

_Coming to a rest against the bar, she could feel her heart race at the sight of him; his toned muscles, his ruffled hair and eyes that captured her soul; he still had it. She could feel her resolve breaking and the sunglasses didn't help; she had to see his eyes again._

"_How may I help you?" he asked, his voice soothing and almost drug like on her mind, sending it into a fit of madness; it truly was Arnold._

"_It's been a long time football head," she replied, her voice trembling as she removed her glasses._

_Lights began to dazzle her sight as she took in the young man before her; she could feel herself pale as she truly looked over him. He had changed so much, his face worn and eyes weary from so much pain. She didn't need to be a master of body language to know he was just as nervous as she was; a pin drop could break the tension if only she had one. It was then that she started to wish she had made a break for it…_

Shaking her head, Helga tried to ignore it as Phoebe stirred, peering at Helga with her eyes squinting for any sign of trouble or worry. Avoiding her searching gaze, Helga tried not to look upset but felt something far more worrying growing in her chest. Taking her leave, Helga made her way to the shower and tried to remove from her memory the thoughts that had plagued her since their break up, tears streaming down her face as she closed the door behind her.

D & F

Sunday night; it was never the best time for Arnold. Ever since he had lost Helga that night, Sundays had become a ritual hatred for holding everything he once admired. And tonight as he sat with Gerald keeping a close watch on him, Arnold couldn't help but grimace as he drank the remainder of the drink and placed it beside him.

"Depression huh?" he asked, not really wanting to hear an answer.

"That's what he said; I couldn't really believe it myself, but I guess it makes sense," he said, taking a swig from the glass he held.

"But why couldn't I remember it?"

Gerald shrugged and looked out at the night sky behind Arnold; only sliding glass doors separated them from the chill of the night. Gerald tried to keep his attention here but even the night stars glowed brightly through the glass doors, shining down upon him like his girlfriend did so often…shaking his head, Gerald watched Arnold leave and make his way to the counter, pouring some more of the soda in his cup and drinking it without stopping. It didn't really surprise him too much; it had been a lot for his best friend to take in and frankly he wasn't going to be working tomorrow, regardless of what Arnold said or tried to do.

"So what can I do now?" Arnold asked as he sat down again, his cup refilled and the bottle looking emptier than it had five minutes ago.

"The Doctor suggested putting you back on medication; but after finding out how much you enjoyed pills during his testing of you," Gerald smiled while Arnold blushed, "He decided to let us watch over you and try to find a way of helping you express you problems, rather than force you to tell a psychologist about your problems and risk causing further damage."

Arnold pondered on this for a moment before it hit him. "So Phoebe's suggestion for the diary was for the depression?"

Gerald nodded. "She felt that the best way to get you to open up, or be comfortable in opening up would be to have you write down the events in your own words and help you overcome them that way. Damn the girl is good though," Gerald grinned, earning a flying pillow to his face.

"Not while I'm awake ok?" Arnold grinned as Gerald laughed.

"Whatever you say Arnold," grinned Gerald.

Arnold leant back and stretched; he felt like he had hardly moved today, but his mind was wearing out; his emotions were everywhere. No matter how many times he tried to control himself, thoughts of Helga kept drifting back like a cold chill in the autumn breeze. He had to be over her; there was no way he could go back to what he had once known, not after all that had happened between them. But why was she here? It couldn't have been to see him…right?

"My memory though; will it come back?" Arnold asked, trying to ignore the thoughts that continued to grow.

Again Gerald shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not a Doctor; but I guess if you give it time or keep trying to find out, it may come back. It's just like the time we had to find that baseball cap of yours, remember?"

Arnold grinned; how could he not remember? The two of them had spent the entire day searching the park for his baseball cap after the four of them had gone on a date a few years ago. It was almost comical as Gerald searched every trash bin and Arnold every tree in the park because he had forgotten where he had put it. It was only after the sun started to set that Helga and Phoebe turned up, Phoebe ready to go out and Helga…wearing his baseball cap. Numerous punches from Gerald for forgetting he had accidently left it at Helga's the previous night had left a nice bruise on his arm, but had earned him plenty of sympathy from Helga for the remainder of the night.

Shaking his head, Arnold sat up. "Maybe I should get some rest," he mumbled, taking his leave.

"You're not working tomorrow so feel free to sleep in man and take your time; you're going to need it and that's an order from the boss," Gerald smiled as Arnold turned and grinned.

Saluting him, Arnold closed the door to his bedroom and moved to the bedside table. Notebook in hand and light on, Arnold turned back to the pages and took a quick look at them; they had all been about his past with Helga. Sighing, Arnold tried to ignore Gerald's already loud snoring, instead choosing to try and clear his head. He was tired of thinking about Helga; all day long she had been creeping into his mind, even when the darkness he felt was at its worst.

_Rain smashed against his face, the pain shooting through his limbs as he tried to keep his spirits up. She had never been late, but even now as he stood awaiting her return, Arnold could hardly avoid the sinking feeling that began to grow larger in his chest…_

"No," Arnold mumbled, rolling onto his side. He was not going to replay that memory just yet…

D & F

Monday morning…Arnold's apartment

"No," said Arnold firmly, focussing his attention on the stove.

"Look I can't help it; I've been called in and Gerald can't keep an eye on her for the day. Arnold, I'm asking only that you would keep her entertained for the day," Phoebe pleaded.

Arnold feared to look behind; he knew better than anyone, save Gerald, Phoebe was a master of pouting. Nothing worried him more than to turn around and see her eyes gazing into his like a puppy dog, and watch his will slip away from the stronghold he had carved in his mind and heart. From there nothing could persuade him to change his mind. Only trouble was he chanced a glance.

"Fine," he mumbled.

Phoebe looked at him for a moment before sighing. "Gerald told me; you know now don't you?" she whispered, afraid of what he might do.

Arnold looked at her, his initial puzzlement turning to realisation as she blushed. "I do," he said, his face deadly serious as he looked at her.

Phoebe froze; she had seen that look before, but it was only once and it was long ago…but it belonged to him. _Not again…please no_. She had seen it happen too many times; the murderous intent in the eyes. Her work had taken her through child abuse…she had seen photos, watched horrible movies played over and over again…Arnold couldn't do this to her. _Please don't…_

"Arnold, please," she whimpered.

"I know; I know all about it Phoebe," he whispered seriously.

Phoebe shuddered as he moved close; screaming wouldn't help her now. She shut her eyes "And…I wanted to say thank you."

Phoebe shot open her eyes as Arnold hugged her tightly. "If it wasn't for you and Gerald, I wouldn't be here. I really owe you one Phoebe; I wish you had told me sooner," he smiled gently as he let her go.

Phoebe sobbed and laughed as she tried to keep herself standing; seeing her struggle, Arnold held her as she laughed into his chest. "You're right Arnold; you deserved to know the truth. I'm sorry we didn't try to explain it to you sooner."

"Forget it about Phoebe; I know now and that is all that matters."

Gradually Phoebe regained herself and bid Arnold farewell, telling him Helga would be around later for lunch. Arnold waved goodbye as he closed the door, allowing himself the chance to breathe. Brain snapping to attention, Arnold looked around and began to tidy up; it would do no good for her to see his place like this. Removing the bottles from last night, Arnold wondered why he felt a spring in his step again. His heart didn't feel as heavy as it had been for a long time; the light around him grew brighter, his sight amazingly improving with each passing second.

Arnold fixed the cushions, removing a stray piece of clothing from the underside of the couch. _Lunch with Helga; t__his could be incredibly awkward, not to mention extremely hurtful. I can't believe this though; even time I try to run away from her, she just keeps coming back. Is this some sort of sick and twisted mind game? I mean I don't even like her or find her attractive…except for those long legs…and her hair shining like golden strings…and eyes so clear like the light blue waters on the shore of paradise..._Arnold blushed.

"Ok, maybe I'm not completely over her," he mumbled as he grabbed a hold of the last of the mess and put it in the bin.

Seeing as it was close to twelve, Arnold resigned himself to making lunch. Although it wasn't normal for him to do so, Caesar salad was going to be an entree. He would substitute the bacon…he couldn't do that after his pet of so long ago. As for the lunch itself he was thinking pizza, something he knew she would enjoy. The dough was already setting in the fridge; call it superstition. He always felt the best bases were done in the fridge regardless of what someone said.

Ripping the lettuce apart, Arnold began to lightly toast the croutons, his sauce blending itself as he chopped some of the toppings for the pizza; it was going to be meat orientated something he knew Helga would enjoy. _Enjoy._ It was strange to think that she was still a part of him even after so long. Did she remember what he knew? Had Phoebe told her about his…no, Helga wouldn't know about it. Phoebe would have known better; she wouldn't have called Helga and told her about it. Turning on the sound system from the kitchen, Arnold began to feel his worries drift away as the jazz slowly worked its way through his body. So calm and collected; its smoothness erasing the care he once had and the problems he faced as he placed the lettuce into separate serving dishes.

Arnold thought about setting up outside, but as he took a look outside the once bright skies had grown dark and rain began to drizzle across his windows. Clearing the table of the clutter, Arnold set it up, hoping it would do for now. As the rain grew harder outside, Arnold smiled; he always enjoyed the rain as he felt some part of him was a part of the storm, calming down the storm he felt inside. It felt like a coincidence that the rain would keep him indoors with her after what had happened with Helga a long time ago…

A knock from the door broke his concentration from his work; nearing one, Arnold had nearly finished all that needed to be done. All that was required was for him to put the toppings on. But it was the second knock that caught his heart; she was here. Moving slowly and calmly towards the door, Arnold tried to steady his breathing as his hands fumbled for the door handle. She was the cause of his pain…but was it all her fault? Opening it carefully, Arnold felt his breath being taken away as Helga stood before him, her skin tight jeans and pink shirt setting his soul on fire. But it was her eyes that held him as she blushed.

"Hey Arnold."

**A/N: Finally the moment of truth; Helga and Arnold together. This isn't the end of Arnold's depressive thinking; there is still a long way for him to go but the story of what happened between Arnold and Helga is coming up; may take a bit longer, but I hope not. As always please R & R, it does mean a lot to me, thank you.**


	6. Chapter VI: The Past Pain

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to Anonymous Latina, MidniteRaine (always enjoy your feedback), loonytunecrazy, Kim, SandraPullman-Pataki (sorry for the delay, I didn't mean to) and Jilly. I thank you all for your reviews; you definitely keep this story going.

Chapter Six: The Past Pain

The tension in the room was thick enough you could cut it with a knife as Helga and Arnold ate in near silence. They had mumbled greetings, ones that Arnold found hard to even remember now as he sat with the plate in front of him empty, and the entree not lasting long on a hungry stomach. The wine bottle next to them had long ago been opened, but neither had tasted a drop, something that was worrying Arnold greatly. He wanted to down the bottle completely as he watched her eat cautiously, waiting for him to say something. But as she finished the last of her entree they had hardly spoken a word as Arnold made his way to the kitchen bench and began to put the toppings on the pizza.

Helga watched contentedly as Arnold left her; reaching for the bottle, she poured the deep red liquid into her glass and drank it. The burning in her throat was minimal, a good sign that he had chosen wisely. It began to soothe her body and relieve the stress her mind was under. He hadn't mentioned anything yet, but she knew better than to ask. Instead of remaining at the table, a strange and bizarre thought caught her mind; walking to the bench, she joined Arnold and began helping him place the last of the toppings on the pizza bases. She had felt him tense up but relax as he saw that she wasn't trying to kill him.

"So, how's your next book coming along?" Arnold asked, trying to keep his mind on the task before him.

It was no secret, at least to those who knew her, that Helga G. Pataki was an author, and one of the more critically acclaimed authors of the last century. Her stories had changed a generation of lives around; her hope and love spilled into her pages, exciting her audiences of all ages. But her next series had begun to focus on a more human emotion of hatred and anger in dystopian society. Her next book was of course eagerly anticipated by man, woman and child alike.

"Yeah it's alright I suppose; publishers always expect you to have it done in a certain amount of time, but I always love having to remind them of who the boss is most of the time," she grinned, earning a wry smile from Arnold.

"Who would have thought though; after being the bully in high school, you would write romantic adventure stories."

"Well our English teacher did apparently," she smiled softly as she continued placing the toppings on the bases.

Arnold laughed softly before the awkwardness fell back in around them. Ham, pineapple, cheese, tomato, and more meats…It was nearly complete, save for the basil. Reaching over to the bowl, Arnold's hand felt for the leafy herb to finish the job. But something touched him that he was not expecting; eyes travelling up her hand and arm to the blushing face of Helga, Arnold felt his face flush crimson. Her touch was so soft, so gentle and just as he had remembered it. Both of them pulled away, forgetting to add the basil to the pizza and instead tried to avoid facing each other.

Helga quickly topped the pizza and placed it into the oven; Arnold returned to his seat, waiting for Helga to join him. Expecting to see her turn away or avoid him, she sat down with a small smile on her face, something Arnold had not seen in a long time.

"Helga, I'm…" he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"You're what Arnold, sorry for touching my hand?" she grinned at seeing his obvious discomfort.

Blushing red once more, Arnold tried to avoid her gaze. "Arnold, we're adults; you don't need to apologise for touching my hand."

"But I shouldn't have," he whispered, causing Helga to become pale.

Looking into her eyes, Arnold couldn't help but feel sad at what he saw; hurt, loss and rejection were fighting their way through her eyes, sending chills and shivers down his spine, unable to focus or feel what his hurt once was. She had betrayed him, but there was something about the look in her eyes that made him regret what he had done. _She must understand__ what it did to me; I can't stand to look at her,_ Arnold thought.

"Helga, we need to talk."

Helga's heart dropped; plummeting into the pit of her stomach was not adequate to explain how much hurt and pain she felt at hearing those words. It was the same words she had dreaded to hear for the last few years, but now even after she had anticipated and thought she knew how to combat it, they still left her hollow, as if she were watching from afar and unable to move or think.

"I can't keep doing this; every time I see you I want to be with you; I want to hold you, touch you…but I can't," Arnold mumbled, his heart dropping as he saw her face.

"Maybe if I knew why," Helga began, but was cut off by Arnold's hand.

"You know well enough," he coldly replied.

"But I don't Arnold; what was it I did to make you hate me?" she asked strongly, regaining some of her usual confidence.

Arnold look at her carefully for a moment, waiting for her to say she knew what made him this way, why every aching second without her stung him like a knife in his chest, why he could never be with her because of what she had done…but only silence greeted his wait. She could be tricking him; it wasn't the first time she had pulled something like this on him. But as Arnold looked into her eyes, he saw nothing but confusion; _she doesn't know,_ he thought. Taking a deep breath, Arnold looked her in the eye and rolled back his sleeves, his glass of wine ready.

"I was confident you did; but I guess it has been a long time for both of us. It all started a week before Gerald and Phoebe's fifth anniversary together as a couple…"

_Time was never of the essence with her and as I watched the clouds slowly begin to descend upon the rooftop of Sunset Arms, there was something about the sudden chill in the air that caught my attention. I had never noticed how wonderful this rooftop was when it rained; I appreciated the sunlit days spent up here after swimming with Gerald or watching the stars explode into the night sky one by one after the night had fallen upon me, but I had never truly stopped to feel and experience the rain. My sight grew darker still as I waited my watch beeping as it signalled the arrival of five pm._

_The last few months had been amazing; school had ended, my girlfriend was magnificent and life was where it needed to be. Gerald and I had started our bar; it was strange and weird at first, but now that I've got the hang of it, I am thoroughly enjoying it. Needless to say though, today was no ordinary day. As I now stand atop this rooftop, I had concealed in my pocket something precious, something so magical and dazzling that it would surely leave Helga speechless._

_Unbeknownst to Phoebe or Gerald, I had managed to scrape together more than enough from the earnings at the bar to buy something I didn't think I would be buying for a while; in my pocket and held in a secure case was an engagement ring. I know we hadn't talked about it, but it felt right; we knew it would be time. My heart raced at what I should say, how I should do it and how I should feel. I had asked a few people how they had proposed and each time they gave me a small smile as if they knew what I was thinking. They had told me I would know when the time was right. At the time I didn't; but now as I stood here in the wind, I knew what they meant._

_Wrapping my fingers around the box, the clouds above converged and began to rain; smashing against my face, pain shot through my suddenly numb limbs. She had to be coming; she said she would. But she had never been this late before…ever. Panic began to grow in my heart; maybe she was hurt? Maybe she had been injured? Maybe she wasn't coming at all. A dead weight in my chest started the sinking feeling; I had done something to her, so she wasn't going to come._

_Suddenly, out of the rain and gloom of the day there she was; you walked towards me, your face downcast, but a small glimmer of hope still resting in your eyes. You seemed happy but I knew better than most that you were deeply upset._

"_Helga, are you okay?" I asked, sensing your pain beneath your facade._

"_Arnold, I want to break up."_

_If I had ever experienced something so devastating this it would not compare; had I felt something so heart breaking I had not lived and had I not loved I would have fallen upon the rocks that had now become my cracked and decimated heart._

"_Why," I tried to say aloud but felt come out more like a squeak. It wasn't even a question; it was nothing but a want._

"_It's not you Arnold; I love you but…"_

"_There's someone else isn't there?" I asked, my head starting to spin. Anger surged through my veins, the boiling fury spreading through my body like wild fire._

_For a moment I thought she was trying to find a way of telling me I was wrong as she stopped and started numerous times; but upon feeling the frenzying wind on my face, I knew I had caught onto it._

"_After everything we went through; forget it Helga, I'm gone," I spat before running away from her, her screams useless against the numb feeling I held in my heart. Before I could run back after running for what felt like hours on end, the rain had smashed into my eyes, blinding me as I finally took notice of where I was; an old green bar stood before me, the doors brown and closed, but a smell of relief echoing from it, so without thinking twice I took a step in and felt my heart begin to burst as I collapsed onto the floor, tears streaking down my face…_

Helga looked at Arnold cautiously; he seemed far more touchy than usual. She tried to look at him, but he kept avoiding her gaze, afraid that even the slightest touch with her would cause him considerable pain. This wasn't the Arnold she once knew sitting before her; this one was something more, or something less than he once was. Taking a sip of her wine, Helga heard the door to the apartment open, the voices of Gerald and Phoebe drifting towards them as they joined the two at the table, unaware of what they had just come in upon.

Arnold removed himself from the table and headed for the oven; Helga sighed deeply as Gerald poured himself a glass of wine, pouring one also for Phoebe as she removed the hair tie and let her hair down. Coming back to the table with the freshly cooked pizzas, Arnold resumed his sudden silence as they ate, occasionally talking and muttering every now about how good the pizza was. Helga though pulled Phoebe close to her and began to talk.

"Helga, I thought you two would have sorted out things by now?" Phoebe whispered, unable to be heard by Gerald or Arnold who suddenly took a keen interest in the latest basketball standings.

"He told me about the break up, but something isn't right about it," Helga muttered, taking another sip from the wine glass.

"What do you mean?"

"It seems messed up; the story he told me was so different to what happened."

"What do you mean; how different was his story?" Phoebe asked.

"Very; you would know better than anyone what happened Phebs. He claimed I cheated on him with some other guy."

"Have you tried telling him what really happened?"

Helga shook her head, earning a sigh from Phoebe. "You should," she whispered softly.

"Phoebe, you do it."

Knowing she had no other choice, Phoebe nudged Gerald, breaking Arnold's focus on him. Taking a deep breath, Phoebe tried to calm her racing heart down.

"Arnold, we need to talk. I think you deserve to know what really happened that night," said Phoebe calmly.

"Phoebe, what do you-"

"Your memory Arnold; it's not the best it could be right now," she said gently.

Arnold felt his anger burn; it had been steadily growing recently, but this sudden increase wasn't helping him. Looking her in the eye, Arnold wanted to do nothing more than yell at her and tell her off for suggesting his memory wasn't that good. He wasn't a vegetable; he could still think for himself. But perhaps now wasn't the best time.

"How would you know Phoebe? You weren't even there; anything Helga has told you will be just as biased…"

"Just as biased as yours football head," Helga spat angrily.

"Well at least I didn't shatter yours into a million pieces!" Arnold shouted as he stood up.

"At least I didn't leave you standing there holding your heart in your hands; judging by how well you got on with that girl after we broke up, I can't say I'm surprised!" Helga screamed, mimicking Arnold's glare into her eyes. Helga and Arnold began to lunge for the other.

"Enough!" Gerald yelled, grabbing a hold of Arnold while Phoebe latched onto Helga, halting any possible chance of lunging at each other. Restraining him to the chair, Arnold winced as Gerald twisted his arm. "Keep your cool here Shortman; I don't want to hurt you, but I won't have a fight breaking out just after lunch, especially in this apartment."

Glaring at him, Arnold felt the restraint removed, but didn't make for Helga. Likewise Helga relaxed as Phoebe released her hold of her arm. The two glared at each other as Phoebe looked to Gerald, a shrug from him earning a hit in the arm.

"So how do you know what really happened Phoebe?" Arnold asked as all warmth was removed from his voice.

"Because I was there," she replied.

Slowly both Helga and Arnold turned to Phoebe, the same look of shock and confusion plastered onto their faces. Gerald smirked then grabbed a hold of his glass, drinking it slowly as he tried to bet on who would talk first. Arnold looked like he would die of shock while Helga had gone red with embarrassment. Finally they found their voice.

"How did you see us when we didn't see you there?" Helga and Arnold said together, earning a sheepish glance from one another. The duo then glared angrily at one another before resuming their look at Phoebe.

"I'm skilled in many ways, and you two should know that better than anyone by now. I know what happened because I was watching the two of you on the rooftop. I'm going to tell you both what happened; if either of you two interrupts me I will ensure that the breaking of your arms will be the least of your concerns," she said sternly, causing both of them to shrink under her gaze. Neither of them wanted to find out what Phoebe would do to them if they dared to interrupt her, aside from breaking their arms.

"Now that we are clear about that, this is what happened…"

_The sun shone brightly atop the rooftop of Sunset Arms as a young man with blonde hair and an unusually shaped head waited, his hands tucked into his jacket and eyes watering from the wind blowing into his face. He never wanted to stand here alone; he had experienced that cold lonely feeling often enough as a child. But fear of being alone wasn't what kept him standing here on the rooftop, arms fixed to his side in an attempt to keep himself warm from the blistering cold around him._

_His eyes scanned the rooftop for any other sign of life; Arnold was waiting for a girl, one he had come to love and treasure beyond anything he could have ever imagined. But it had been a girl he would never have expected to fall for back in primary school; back then Helga was nothing more than a bully, a tormentor of Arnold and at best an acquaintance. But he had seen something in her, that special spark that convinced him she was more what she appeared. Underneath the tough facade was a fragile girl, one who wanted to love and be loved in return. And it was that girl he had found during high school; tucking away the golden heart shaped locket containing her picture, a gift she had given him last Christmas, Arnold knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was in love with her._

_Tucked away in his pocket was a small box, containing what Arnold hoped would be the gift to surpass all others; a small engagement ring. He felt that it was time, he felt ready to be one with her. He knew she would have been waiting for this day for so long and after convincing her to come meet him up on the rooftop, she would have to wait no more. It was here they had started their dating and it only seemed fitting to Arnold that this would be the spot they would become engaged. He wanted to travel and provided she said yes, the travel would be the honeymoon, their chance to see the world and experience all that had come before them._

"_Helga," Arnold smiled brightly as his eyes caught a hold of the blonde haired girl making her way towards him. Her pink bow tying her hair back and eyes glittering in the sunlight surrounding her, Arnold could feel her joy for him grow as she moved to him and kissed him lightly on the lips, her embrace warming him better than any drink or fire could ever do._

"_So what was it that you wanted to see me about football head?" she smirked as she kissed his bemused smile repeatedly, stopping any chance of a word being said._

_Smiling, Arnold removed the box from his pocket; bringing it between the two of them, Helga looked down at it, lost for words. Arnold grinned and took a small step backwards. Holding it in front of him, Arnold said the words he had rehearsed for days, the words he had been meaning to say for so long, and the words he had memorised in his heart._

"_Helga Pataki, you are the most amazingly beautiful and most magnificent person to whom I have had the greatest pleasure of getting to know and love. But I ask you this now; will you make me the most honoured and luckiest man alive by giving me the honour of your hand in marriage?"_

_Arnold waited; he knew it would take a moment for it to sink in, so he didn't worry too much. Silence descended upon them; the air slowly ground to a halt, the chill gone as he awaited her answer. A single tear fell down her face; it wasn't what he had expected to see. She seemed to have lost all her confidence, all her charisma and all that made Helga who she was; no longer the woman, a child now stood before Arnold, afraid and unsure of what to do. Arnold couldn't take this._

"_Will you marry me Helga?" he asked again._

_Helga appeared to be on the verge of crying; trying to gain control of herself, Helga looked at Arnold, confusion written all over her face. "Arnold, I…I don't know…its come now when…I don't know if I can," she heard herself mutter, regretting the words as soon as they came out of her mouth._

_Arnold was broken; words cannot begin to describe how he felt. Clutching it tightly in his hands, the box was returned to his pocket as his eyes burned into Helga's; no longer caring for what she said or did, Arnold left her without a word, trying to hold himself together. Helga screamed for him to stop but it was too late; watching him vanish from sight as he climbed down, Helga collapsed to her knees and began to cry, unable to understand why she had done that to Arnold of all people. _

_For what felt like hours she wept, the pain searing in her heart as her fingers fumbled for Phoebe's number; night time had just begun to descend when from out of the shadows of the rooftop she felt a soft hand on her shoulder, knowing full well that the hand belonged to her close friend Phoebe._

Arnold looked at Phoebe carefully as she finished her tale. As he thought about it, he still couldn't accept that this was what had happened exactly. It didn't make complete sense to him, but it seemed to fit. But it wasn't the whole truth and he knew it.

"Phoebe," he said as she took a sip of Gerald's drink, "If that is what happened, then why do I still know that she cheated on me with another guy?"

Phoebe looked at Arnold, but it was Gerald who spoke. "My man, I trust what Phoebe says; did you hear anything about Helga cheating on you during that explanation? Because I certainly didn't," Gerald spoke sternly.

Feeling as though she was now a child amongst adults, Helga looked up from her folded hands. "What makes you think I would ever cheat on you Arnold?" Helga whispered gently.

Taken back, Arnold shrunk back into his seat. "Because you told me."

Phoebe mumbled something into Gerald's ear before turning her attention to Arnold again. "Arnold, Helga never cheated on you; she loves you too much to ever consider doing something like that to you."

Arnold nodded, but felt he was slowly splitting apart. If she hadn't done that, why did he know in his heart she had? He needed to rest, he needed to try and understand what was going on. But Phoebe's last words had caught his attention. "Phoebe, don't you mean she loved me too much?"

At this Phoebe blushed red; Gerald gagged slightly on his drink as Helga looked at Arnold as though he had just shot her. "I don't have to stand for this football head," she mumbled before leaving the table and the apartment. Phoebe quickly followed after her as Gerald looked at Arnold carefully before smiling to himself.

"And here I thought you were dense with women."

**A/N: ****Sorry for the short delay but I wanted this to be the best it could before giving you all the chance to read it. ****This hopefully answers some questions, but not everything is crystal clear yet. As always please R & R; I really do appreciate the time you take to let me know what you think of it. The next chapter should be up in the week; and a character from the past is going to make a return to Arnold's life…**


	7. Chapter VII: Lila

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to MidniteRaine and Anonymous Latina for reviewing; good guess Anonymous Latina. Was I that obvious :P? Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Chapter Seven: Lila

"I guess so, but still Phoebe didn't say anything about that in her story Arnold; it's not like she would purposely skip something that serious or important," Gerald said as he rubbed his temple once again.

"But that is just it; how do I know that she cheated on me when all Phoebe has told me is the opposite? If Helga didn't say anything and Phoebe knows she hasn't, then how do I still know?"

Gerald shrugged and leaned back against the cushions. They had been going at each other for the last few hours over the revelation at lunch, and with the end remaining as mysterious and as unknown as ever, Gerald had resigned himself to the fact that Arnold was just being stubborn about how he knew that Helga had cheated on him. Gerald hadn't really cared for Arnold's claim, only how he believed he knew. But after all these hours, he was no closer to knowing than Arnold did.

"So for what feels like the ninetieth time today, how do you know that Helga cheated on you? Was it someone close to her, was it someone who knew her or was this all just a figment of your imagination inside that football head of yours?" Gerald asked wearily, his words becoming increasingly useless against Arnold's stubbornness.

Arnold sighed and pulled up the glass from the table near the couches; two bottles they had now gone through, that is when you included the one from lunch, and still he felt that he was no closer to solving the mystery of who had told him what had happened.

"Again I don't remember; if what Phoebe says is true, then it must have been after the failed…" Arnold trailed off.

Gerald looked up at his friend and saw he was on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry man; really I am. But I need you back at your best; we all need you to be back at your best. And most of all we can't leave you to rot in this self-pity for the next twenty years; it's like that dude says, you have got to stand up straight and carry your own weight because those tears will get you nowhere."

Arnold laughed softly. "Whatever Gerald; I just wish I knew who had told me about Helga."

Gerald nodded before checking his watch. "Arnold as much as I enjoy our late nights, I need to get some sleep before work tomorrow."

Arnold nodded before heading for his room. Reacquainting himself with the couch, Gerald snuggled in close and closed his eyes, feeling the weight of the world release itself from his shoulders. But lying down in his bed with his eyes still twitching, Arnold could only feel the pressure grow and his mind churn over everything he had heard today, replaying it slowly and quickly all at the same time.

Punching his pillow into a more comfortable shape, Arnold tossed and turned until sleep fell upon him, his only thoughts drifting back to Helga, much to the disappointment of his heart…

D & F

_His heart racing and eyes darting between each smoke cloud in the room, Arnold felt himself wanting to heave up the contents of his stomach. Each nauseating intake brought him closer to the edge, his gut spinning faster and faster, his head swirling as he felt himself go under…an arm helped him to a chair at the bar, resting him comfortably as he felt his hands reach out to hold onto it; the smell was eased, no longer sticking to his nostrils compulsively. As his head began to clear, Arnold heard a soft cough and assumed it belonged to the person behind the bar._

"_What would you like?" a gentle voice asked, its soothing melody easing the headache that had been growing._

"_Anything that isn't too heavy please," he mumbled, unable to look up at the bartender._

_Without hearing another word, Arnold could hear the bottles clang and glass being placed before him as he felt the relaxation descend upon him. Brushing his soaked wet hair with his hand backwards, Arnold sighed deeply until he reached into his pocket to pull out his handkerchief. His chest froze; fingers touching the small box in his pocket, Arnold felt tears swell up again. Choking from the tears, he coughed lightly, accepting the drink in front of him and trying to avoid creating a growing scene._

"_So what's your story?"_

_Arnold took a sip and nearly choked on its burning sensation as the amber liquid trickled down his throat. He wasn't used to alcohol yet; maybe in time he would. "I don't have a story."_

_The bartender laughed. "You don't know how many times I have heard that before; everyone has a wonderful story to tell. And yours must be ever so wonderful too."_

_Arnold wanted to throw the drink at this loon; couldn't this idiot see that he was devastated? Gripping it tightly, he was about to but gave up; even if he wanted to, he couldn't take out his hurt and anger on anyone else. "My story isn't that wonderful," Arnold mumbled, taking a large gulp from the drink before him._

"_I'm so sorry to hear that; what could have ever made it so horrible?"_

_Arnold sighed and proceeded to explain what had happened to him, the idea of meeting on the rooftop and what had happened when his girlfriend had said no. But all the while he could feel some of the hurt leaving him only to be replaced with anger; why had she said no?_

"_It is so sad to hear such a tale of woe; perhaps she was not ready for you?"_

"_Then why didn't she say so?" Arnold stuttered, his head falling into his arms as he cried. In between the sobs and hiccups, Arnold felt a hand pat him gently on the shoulder. The bar had become silent; the only two people left in the dimly lit bar was Arnold and the bartender._

"_Well maybe there was something more behind her decision; what did you say her name was?" the bartender asked, the voice beginning to sound distinctly female and strangely familiar._

"_Helga Pataki," he mumbled pausing when he heard a breath catch itself in the bartender's throat. "Do you know her?"_

"_I used to; back in primary school."_

_Arnold looked up and felt the pain in his stomach ease; standing slightly shorter than he would if he had been standing, the bartender had waist length hair and a trademark smile on her face that could only ever belong to one girl; Lila Sawyer looked down at Arnold in pity, patting him on the back gently as Arnold placed the drink on the counter._

"_Why didn't you tell me it was you?" he asked._

"_I didn't want to startle you; and besides, not everyone should know that I work here of all places," she replied darkly, avoiding his eyes as she shot out daggers from her eyes, daring the dodgy bar to shout back and tell her otherwise._

"_But still, why are you here of all places?" Arnold asked, admittedly never picturing Lila ever working in a place that could be as filthy and as dark as this bar._

"_Everyone must start somewhere; I wish to travel the world and witness the beauty of the world, and amaze and dazzle people in poor countries by helping them in whatever means necessary. So I must get money before I can travel," she said, gesturing to the room airily._

"_I see," Arnold smiled softly._

"_Do you still wish to see the world Arnold?" she asked as she sat down with him, taking a glass and pouring some of the drink into her own._

"_I want to with all my heart; but I need money first too."_

"_A truly terrible bane of our lives Arnold," she responded, taking a sip of her drink._

_Nodding, Arnold returned to his drink. He didn't want to admit it, but Helga had broken him deeply; as more of the drink disappeared, Arnold tried to hide his feelings and his eyes from Lila, knowing full well Helga's feelings about Lila, or Mrs Perfect as she had called her. But even as he tried to think of a way out, he began to resent it; he hated her now. So what if Helga disliked Lila? She was his friend, someone he had always gotten on well with and after what Helga had done to him, she had no say about what went on in his life, let alone who he could be friends with._

"_You froze up when I mentioned Helga's name before; why was that?" Arnold asked, noticing her face pale once more at the mention of Helga's name._

"_It's just a reaction," she replied hastily._

"_I don't think so; there has to be a reason for it Lila."_

_Lila smiled. "You would make a wonderful psychiatrist or Councillor Arnold; I heard something about her a while back, but I don't think it's true. She wouldn't do something like that, especially since you two were dating at the time."_

_Arnold put down the drink and looked at her carefully. "Lila what was it you heard about Helga?"_

_Shifting in her seat uncomfortably, Lila took another sip of her drink. "It was only a rumour, something I heard but suspect could be true; the source is normally so accurate and true about what they tell me. She had a fling for a weekend with that guy who used to stalk her…but I can't remember his name; do you know who he is?"_

_Arnold felt his heart dropping into the soles of his feet. "Brainy."_

_Lila paled more as Arnold's face grew redder. "Arnold I'm sure-"_

"_Save it Lila," he said as he gulped down the drink, poured another and sculled it down before she could so much as blink, let alone stop him. "She probably did, otherwise she would have said something. Thanks for the drink and sympathy," he mumbled, taking out some money and putting it down, leaving Lila behind in a state of shock and bewilderment._

_Stumbling along the raining streets, Arnold cared for nothing and no one as the numb darkness had swelled into his chest, his path darkened and mind on auto-pilot. Tripping over stairs and slumping into the glass door, Arnold tried to think of where he was. He opened the door and swayed towards the elevator, his head splitting from the headache growing in his mind. Fingers too numb to feel bent and twisted till they found the number for his floor; door closing and eyes slurring the view around him, Arnold tried to hold himself up as the doors opened a short time later._

_Walls bended and the floor beneath him felt like water as he walked to his room, trying to remain steady and balanced; hands removed the keys from his pocket and remarkably found it straight away, staggering his way into the apartment after closing the door and making his way to his bed, collapsing into the sheets as sleep descended upon him…_

Cracks in the curtains streamed the little light that had managed to find its way through the clouds outside, warming small patches of Arnold's face as he stirred. Thoughts swirled hazily in his mind as the contents slowly descended on him. An aching pain throbbed in his head as he checked the clock and saw it to be eight-thirty-three.

"Last time I do that," he mumbled, rolling over to avoid the sunlight in his eyes.

A feeling of peace and thoughtlessness drifted over his mind as he felt the warmth of the blanket consume him; everything felt easy and comfortable…but a singular thought began to develop. The dream was peculiar; he hadn't remembered that ever happening before. A girl he had once known had told him something strange…Lila. Arnold's eyes shot open as it all clicked; his mind whirred to life, unable to stop and focus on anything. Lila had told him about Helga cheating on him and he knew who with…a mixture of anger and joy filled his heart as he bounded out the door and onto the couch, awakening Gerald rudely but falling onto him.

"Couldn't it have waited? I still have to work you know…" he mumbled, vowing to kill Arnold later.

"Gerald, I know who told me about Helga cheating on me," he laughed happily, catching Gerald's attention. Rolling back towards him, Gerald tried not to feel excited.

"Who is it?" he asked. As Arnold told him, he felt his heart stop and mind freeze; if things were bad before, Gerald now knew they were only going to get worse. Much, much worse.

D & F

Sunday night…

"What an immature and selfish brat! How could I have ever loved him Phoebe?" Helga ranted, the wine in her glass moving dangerously close to the carpet.

Phoebe simply shrugged her shoulders, taking another sip and savouring the flavour. Helga huffed and puffed but seemed unable to really make sense of what she was trying to say in her own mind. Phoebe didn't mind the silence; she had been this way all afternoon after leaving Arnold's apartment and frankly the break was only one of the few she had experienced since Helga had started. Brushing her hair back, Helga swirled the wine around before finishing off the remainder of the drink.

"But I still don't understand Phoebe; why would Arnold think I cheated on him? I mean I practically worshiped the kid throughout my entire primary and secondary life; I even had shrines built of his stupid football shaped head," Helga mumbled, pouring herself some more of the red wine.

Phoebe could only watch on and sigh; there would be headaches in the morning. "I'm not entirely sure why Arnold would insinuate you would dare to cheat on him; I know, I saw those shrines too…how did you-"

"Details Phoebe; all you need to know is that the gum stuck together," Helga interjected dismissively, earning another shrug from Phoebe.

"Regardless, Arnold's thinking is not completely clear or child-friendly at the moment," she sighed, sipping the wine as Helga looked at her curiously.

"What do you mean by his thinking not being child-friendly Phebs?"

Phoebe paled slightly. "It really isn't my place to tell you Helga; it's not personal between you and me," she quickly added seeing Helga's fists clench, "It's just that Arnold alone would know most of the details for the why; I only really know the how and what happened afterwards."

"You can still tell me Phebs," Helga assured her sincerely.

Phoebe eyed her for a moment before caving; she knew things had to be patched up, but everything was too confusing for her right now. "Well, I guess you should find out from someone who won't bite your head off."

Phoebe then proceeded to explain what happened, from the date Gerald had taken her out on and to the discovery at Arnold's apartment and then onto the doctors talk with them. Phoebe omitted the exact way they had found him, instead saying she had heard a fire alarm go off in his room. Throughout it all Helga had remained silent and glued to Phoebe, listening intently and hanging off every word. By the end however, Helga wanted to curl up into a ball and just cry; how could she have done something like this to him? If she was around, maybe he wouldn't have done that, something she told Phoebe.

"There was little you would have been able to do Helga; I'm just glad he is still here," Phoebe smiled softly as a small tear escaped down her cheek.

For a while silence fell upon them, neither of the two girls wanting to break the thoughts of the other. But Helga felt it burn her from the inside, building up until she couldn't take it anymore. Taking a deep breath, she said the words she had wanted to say for years.

"Why did I say no?"

Phoebe gasped; Helga had never mentioned it to her before. It was touchy, really touchy; Helga had never given Phoebe a reason for why she did what she did. "Um…I don't really know Helga."

"But I must have had a reason right?" she asked desperately. "I mean I loved him then; why didn't I say yes? I'd been waiting for so long to be with him for the rest of my life; so why did I go and flush it down the toilet?"

Phoebe looked at her for a moment. "Were you scared?"

"No…not really," Helga replied after a while.

"Was it the wrong time?"

"It would never be the wrong time with Arnold; I think I was afraid," she said wide eyed as it dawned upon her. There are few times in a person's life where finding the right answer meant more pain; but Helga had now come to the realisation of it all.

Phoebe waited for Helga to continue, her mind in deep thought as she struggled to compose her next words. She stopped and started a few times before she finally spoke. "I was afraid it was happening now; I was afraid I was about to lose him; I was afraid he would take it back and tell me it was all a lie…I was afraid I'd become like my parents," Helga mumbled.

"Helga, you wouldn't become like them-" Phoebe began, but Helga was too quick.

"Yes I would; Arnold would become like Bob and I'd become like my mum, drinking away the remains of my life and wishing I had done something more with it. I'd even treat my children badly because I could never break out of it. And then we would fight all the time; Arnold would yell and I'd cry and scream. And my children; my poor children. How could I ever do that to them?" Helga sobbed into her arms.

Phoebe moved closer to her friend on the couch and wrapped her arms around her tightly, bringing her in close as Helga cried into her shirt. For a while she only held her, letting Helga cry it out; she could feel the pain Helga felt; she didn't want to bring up any child the way she had been brought up. For an our she cried, unable to stop or realise that Phoebe's shirt was nearing saturation levels. But finally Phoebe spoke as Helga's crying subsided.

"Helga, you wouldn't make the same mistakes your parents made; it is your life and you know better than they do. And Arnold is not like Bob; he would never harm you in any way; he is too caring of a soul to even consider hurting you Helga. And besides, you can barely stomach alcohol, let alone drink large quantities of the stuff."

Helga stifled a laugh as Phoebe smiled gently. "And besides, you two would make a great couple Helga and we all know it; your children would simply adore you and never want to be apart from their loving mother and father."

Helga nodded tentatively as Phoebe held her close, allowing Helga to listen to her heartbeat like a mother would for a child. Its thumping beat kept her in time with the pulsating throbbing feeling that began to grow in her mind. Too much alcohol again; so much for the resolve…but her heart skipped a beat as the image of a golden haired blonde boy appeared before her, her shut eyes unable to show the true amount of joy and happiness that her smile only barely showed to anyone who may have been watching her. Arnold was her first and only love; _and I love you Arnold._

D & F

Time had escaped her before she could really make sense of anything; nearing midday Monday, Helga had been in a long talk with Phoebe about what she should do. Arnold had been on her mind all night, and now as she sat at the bench he was acting like a better drug for the headache she now had than the aspirin she had taken earlier.

"You should go over and see him Helga," Phoebe insisted again, cooking at the stove with the apron Gerald had given her last year.

"What if he doesn't want to see me though?" she panicked.

"Well you can come back here; it's only a metre or two away," Phoebe laughed, earning a rare smile from Helga.

Placing the food onto her plate, Phoebe and Helga quickly ate before Helga left, promising to make dinner tonight. She had run out into the corridor and was surprised to find her heart had nearly stopped; the door to Arnold's apartment was shut and seemed to radiate hatred to her. She could turn back; there was always Phoebe there to talk to…but she wouldn't run. No more hiding, no more crying; Helga had to confront this once and for all. Mustering all the bravery she could, she strode to the door and paused; sucking up her courage, she knocked on the door.

Hearing a voice say to come in, Helga turned the door knob and walked in, but not before her heart stopped once again. It was the last place she had ever expected to see her, but Lila Sawyer was sitting with Gerald and Arnold, talking animatedly. Pausing, Arnold was about to say something but Lila broke in before he had a chance.

"It is ever so wonderful to see you Helga; why don't you come and sit down with us?"

**A/N: Slight delay, but I do plan on posting the next chapter within the next week so stay tuned for that. Please do R & R; I really do honestly appreciate what you have to say about the story. Again thank you to those that have and continue to do so; you really help keep me writing the story, even when my head doesn't want to. Until next time.**


	8. Chapter VIII: Moving into the Past

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to MidniteRaine, Anonymous Latina and Sandra Pullman-Pataki for reviewing. As for the Lila comment Sandra; yeah I wonder if he knew that; she is just too perfect as a character to really work. But anyway, enjoy!

Chapter Eight: Moving into the Past

Helga paused and caught the cold breath in her lungs; opposite to her sat Lila, someone she knew to have had a crush on her ex-boyfriend at some point in her life. Her beady eyes watched her earnestly and neatly platted hair dangled behind her, giving Helga the impression of a lion awaiting its prey. She tried to remain calm, but against every fibre of her sane being she wanted to punch this girl out for being here of all places when she wanted to confess and tell Arnold of her feelings for him. No one could begrudge her revenge against this girl; sure she had stolen the kiss from her in primary, but now she sat here smiling and being too pleasant for her own good. No one could be that happy all the time.

Feigning a smile for the sake of appearance, Helga's breathing eased as Gerald left to grab a drink. She wanted to say something to relieve the tension building up inside her, but felt it best to ignore the glare Arnold gave her as she accepted a drink from Gerald; for the first time in her life, she wished Phoebe could read her mind and run in here and back her up…for whatever she may do to the girl before her.

"I'm so glad to see you here Helga; I was just saying to Arnold how wonderful it would be to have a catch up with the class at some point," Lila smiled brightly, lighting the room for everyone but not Helga.

"Yeah sure whatever you say Lila; I'm sure we would have all caught up sometime anyway," Helga mumbled, waving her hand dismissively.

Gerald smirked as Lila kept her smile lingering, despite showing signs of annoyance at Helga's dismissal of her suggestion. "Anyway, why are you here?" Lila asked politely, the welcome in her voice rapidly vanishing away.

"Personal reasons; mainly visits to old friends. But the real question is why you are here of all places at this time of the day?"

Lila seemed to pause for a moment and eye her carefully. "Personal reasons; we were just discussing it when you walked in."

"Not about me was it?" Helga smirked, but her smile fell as the trio looked away bashfully.

Arnold though was the first to regain his senses. "What did you want to talk about Helga?"

Helga felt her face redden, but pushed on. "I'd prefer to talk with you in private Arnold; but I am curious. What were you talking about me for?"

Helga never dreamt that the temperature in the room could be plummeting faster than it did right now; feeling like mountains of ice surround her, Helga held herself as Arnold's demeanour changed dramatically. Any warmth he may have had had vanished, worrying even Lila's normally easy going personality.

"The fact that you cheated on me with Brainy; how it had escaped your mentioning I will never know, but you should have told you liked him better than me," Arnold shot at her coldly.

Helga felt her fists tighten; blood starting to boil, all she wanted to do was reach across and plant her fist firmly into his arrogant face; how dare he say she cheated on him and with Brainy of all people?

"Of course you would be perfect football head; everything you say and do is just ever so perfect. Mind you, where did you hear this garbage from anyway? I have half a mind to find this idiot and show them what happens when you spread lies about people."

Expecting Arnold to tell her straight away, she readied herself to leave and track down the person who had told him this. But what he did next surprised her even more; without a word he moved in front of Lila and spread his arms out wide, shielding her from any potential blows as Arnold stared into Helga's eyes, his face grim and eyes full of determination.

"You can't touch her."

Helga felt her body go numb; she had been here all along. "It was Lila; but why? What did I ever do to you?"

"It was nothing you ever did to me Helga; I only heard it from my reliable source and I did not want Arnold to get hurt anymore by your mistakes."

Lord it had been years; but Helga swore to God that if this twerp opened her mouth one more time, not only would Old Betsy be brought out of retirement, she would be crowned world champion after all the pain she was going to put this girl through. She didn't hate her; she was nice enough. But here was an example of niceness going too far.

"My mistakes? I would never cheat on Arnold; you don't understand how long it took for me to get him," she mumbled, trying to keep her anger in check. She was nearly as bad as her father was.

"And I believe you," said Phoebe as she walked in, much to the astonishment and shock of the rest of the group. If Helga could move without killing someone, she would have given Phoebe a bone crushing hug.

Taking her place in the centre of them all, Phoebe settled Helga down and sat her down. Now all in a circle with Phoebe as the head, she sat down and looked at them all carefully, smiling as her eyes came to rest on Gerald.

"They have been fighting it out again?" she asked calmly as though no one else was in the room but her boyfriend.

"Of course; I never expected it to be any other way really. But I must say you could have come here a bit earlier."

"I was enjoying lunch and then work called to check on me…but anyway, I'll explain later tonight; besides I was sure you could handle the children as they fought," she smiled as Arnold, Helga and Lila wore the same looks of shock and embarrassment.

"Now, can someone please fill me in calmly and in an adult manner, without bias?"

Sighing, Gerald explained the situation to Phoebe, covering all the details that had been exchanged this morning, from Arnold's dream to the recent outburst. "I see; Lila, who was your source?"

Lila looked awkwardly at the four of them and sighed. "Rhonda."

Arnold felt his confidence fall; Helga felt the anger in her body drain away while Phoebe watched her carefully. Gerald on the other hand focussed himself on the bird outside the window.

"What proof did she give you? Please think about this carefully Lila; Arnold is basing his thoughts and actions currently on your assumptions and conclusions."

Lila felt herself pale under Phoebe's scrutinising gaze. "She told me she had heard that at some point a close friend of hers had heard about Brainy mentioning something along the lines of being with Helga and wishing to be with her forever. She also told me that Brainy had then been seen with a blonde haired girl later that night so I naturally assumed it had been Helga."

Phoebe nodded. "Naturally that would be a safe assumption to make, except for the fact that I happen to know the blonde girl in question for we work together; she has been seeing Brainy for a while now and besides this, Brainy and Helga haven't met up since high school ended."

Helga looked at her awkwardly. "How do you know-"

"A girl's phone Helga tells more than anyone would care to mention," she winked, causing Helga to blush.

Arnold though felt his head spin; if what Lila had said was wrong, and if what Helga had said was right, then everything was wrong. There had never been another guy in her life; he had believed Lila without checking up on it. And he had been ready to fight Helga to the death on this too; he had been a fool. Helga had been telling him the truth and he didn't listen to her; it was his entire fault. Everything raced through his mind all at once as the room began spinning dangerously fast…

"Phoebe, I need to go," Arnold quickly said before dashing to his bathroom.

Helga paused as she listened to the hurling; Gerald sighed and made his way to the bathroom, leaving the three girls alone. No one said much for a while, the throwing up from Arnold the only real sound much to the disgust of the trio.

"Well, I guess this is solved; but I do have last one question. Why did you tell him about this Lila?" Phoebe asked.

"I thought I was doing the right thing; and I kind of…" she trailed off, unable to be heard by Phoebe or Helga.

"You kind of what?" Helga asked.

"…liked him?"

Helga felt her fists clench and begin to draw blood; cold fury her system as her eyes locked onto Lila's face with pin point accuracy, blood covering her eye sight; this girl was dead. Phoebe saw the rage and homicidal anger fill Helga and knew it was time for her to go. "Lila it is probably best that you be on your way; we'll let Arnold know you said goodbye."

Lila quickly nodded and followed Phoebe down the hall, glad to be away from Helga's growing anger; closing the door carefully behind her, Phoebe ran back to Helga and cupped her face into her hands; looking her carefully in the eyes as she smiled gently. "Helga please relax for me; Lila is gone and will not hurt you anymore."

Slowly the fire burning in Helga's eyes subsided only to be replaced with tears. She had finally become a monster, just like her father was to her mother. She couldn't stand to look at Phoebe or anyone else anymore, not when she was capable of drawing blood from her own hands.

"It's over Phoebe; Arnold could never care for me again. I've hurt him so much; how could he ever love a monster like me?" she sobbed.

"Helga please listen to me; give him time. You two need to sit down and talk about this."

Holding her for a while, Helga and Phoebe broke apart when the sound of Gerald coughing lightly awoke them to the world around them; holding Arnold, he helped his friend over to the couch and sat him down, resting him gently against it. Helga looked to Phoebe who nodded; gracefully and carefully she moved to where Arnold was and took the cloth from Gerald who nodded. She began to dab him carefully across his forehead as he slowly regained himself.

Although Phoebe wanted to stay and see what happened, Gerald took her hand and smiled, leading her towards Arnold's bedroom and closing the door, smirking at Helga's worried face as he did so. Silently cursing him, Helga continued to try and bring Arnold around to his senses; something Arnold was slowly regaining.

"I guess I never told you how gentle you could be when you chose to be," Arnold smiled weakly, barely registering the smile on Helga's lips.

Helga chuckled softly as she continued to wipe his forehead. "And I guess I never told you how much of a sickening romantic charmer you were when you were sick."

Arnold continued to smile, despite the dread building in his heart. Even though he enjoyed the feeling her fingers had on his head, he couldn't stand to be with her right now, not after the things he had said and done. For the first time he finally felt what she must have felt for so long; he felt so bad, lower than anything else he had ever felt. How she had stood this pain for so long was beyond him; she could never forgive him for what he had done. It was never really her fault or his; they had both hurt one another, only he had let it fester, grow and consume him.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to compose himself before speaking. "Helga, I need to apologise."

Taken aback, Helga paused in her dabbing of his forehead. "I know we haven't exactly been friends since we broke up and I'm sorry for that; it is only now that I realise how much of an idiotic fool I have been. I always thought I was the one who had suffered the most from this; but I was completely wrong. I never understood what you must have felt until now; and now…I'm sorry I did this to you. I know you may never, but could you please forgive me Helga for all the pain and hurt I have put you through?"

The air came to stand still in the room, neither of them saying a word as the world fell into complete silence. Helga couldn't believe her ears; had he just apologised? She didn't dare to believe what she had just heard; what if this was all a trick, a trap to lure her into a false sense of security before attacking her again? But this was Arnold she was talking about; _her_ Arnold. A sweeping feeling filled her stomach, taking away her breath; how she had never noticed his smell until now puzzled her. Had she been blocking him out completely?

Arnold looked at her, trying to figure her mind out; it was proving to be harder than he thought. She wasn't angry, she wasn't happy but she was lost in thought. He wanted to say anything to break it, but he didn't know what to say; he had spilled out some of his regret to her and she was saying nothing. Taking a deep breath, he was about to say something when he saw a small gentle smile spread itself across her face.

He tensed as he watched her slowly lean closer to his cheek, her breath warm on his face as she planted a small kiss on it, before pulling her head away from his. "Arnold, I forgive you."

Arnold felt his world explode; a wave of relief washed over him as he tried to steady his breathing. He could feel himself wanting to throw up again; the dizziness was starting to take over again. "Helga I know we need to talk, but now isn't the best time. I need to rest, but I will gladly talk with you tonight if you like?"

Helga still dumbfounded by her own actions, nodded and watched him slowly leave. Instinct took over as her hand shot out for his and grabbed a hold of it. "I don't want to leave you," she mumbled softly, catching them both by surprise; smiling gently, Arnold sat back down and leant against the couch, resting himself comfortably against the cushions. Helga sat down next to him and lay down, resting her head on his lap as he placed a cushion beneath her head.

"Ever the gentlemen aren't you?" she teased as he just kept smiling. Playing with her hair, Helga felt her eyes grow heavy and close, Arnolds not far behind as they both slowly fell asleep.

A creak at the door revealed two smiling faces belonging to Phoebe and Gerald; seeing the two sleeping forms resting peacefully, Gerald pulled Phoebe back into the room, a soft click the last noise the two sleeping forms would have heard as the afternoon drifted away to the sound of untold truths and whispering thoughts of their dreams.

D & F

"And that was the last time I saw Eugene," Arnold smiled, Helga's laughter echoing throughout the apartment.

Night time had descended upon the two of them, their laughter now echoing happily throughout the room as Arnold and Helga finished off their meal. It was the first time they had been alone together and found it not to be awkward or tense; on the contrary it felt like the days of old had returned to them. And it was something Helga was thanking the stars for while Arnold silently prayed it would never end. Watching her answer her phone, Arnold felt his heart begin to increase its pace and his eyes scour every inch of her majestically carved face; he had always known she was beautiful and had told her many times, but seeing her after so long…_Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder_, he smiled as she continued to chat away to her publisher.

Given the time of night and the chance that he was still eating up his sick leave, Arnold felt like going into work tomorrow just to get used to the scene again. But Helga had mentioned taking another day off before returning home, and after the way she had cooed him into agreeing, he was deciding against going in and instead talking some personal time off; he was the co-boss anyway.

Oblivious to Arnold's love struck smile, Helga took another sip of her wine, allowing Arnold the chance to compose himself. He hadn't felt this excited in a long time. But he knew where this was going to go before he could even open his mouth; indeed, it seemed as though Helga could read his mind and spoke before he could.

"So, Arnold…you mentioned talking earlier," she smirked, catching Arnold in mid blush.

"Yeah, I did; guess now wouldn't be the best time to say I forgot?" he half laughed.

Helga smiled, but waited for him to speak; it had been so long since she had seen him up close in person and felt his touch. "Where should we start? As you are the lady, I think you have the right to chose," Arnold said smoothly, causing Helga's legs to turn to jelly.

Years of facing strangers had taught her to conceal the emotion in her face, but it was proving to be harder than normal. "Well, perhaps we should start from where it all began for the two of us; that deadly rooftop."

Arnold sighed; he knew it had to come first. "Well, I guess I know now why. But it still hurt Helga; why didn't you tell me you weren't ready for it instead of leaving me to hang there?"

Expecting the sting, Helga never felt it from Arnold; there was no anger or resentment in his voice, only hurt. "Well, I…it's difficult to explain."

Helga steadied her breathing. "You know how my family was and is; Bob and Miriam never got on well with one another once I was around; Bob always preferred my perfect sister to me. I was lucky to be called Olga; at least Big Bob would acknowledge I existed in the family. But it was his actions and the way he behaved towards Miriam that shook me; he was never nice to her. Their fights were the stuff of legend; one minute it would be something simple like opening a jar and the next…they never knew I was around."

Helga held her glass in her hands and swirled it around. "Can we move to the couch?"

Nodding, Arnold grabbed the wine bottle as Helga made her way to the couch and sat down comfortably, Arnold following in tow. "Well, before she died, Miriam pulled me aside; failing liver and kidneys," she stated at seeing Arnold's sadness. "I'm not really surprised; she drank herself stupid and in a way it was always going to happen; not that I don't miss her," she said sadly.

"Anyway, she told me something about Bob. She told me she regretted marrying this brute of a man to begin with; she was proud of Olga, but was more proud of how I had matured and become a fine woman, especially as she wasn't there to help me. And she told me how she never wanted me to marry unless the guy I was with was perfect for me and would treat me how a woman should be treated."

Arnold thought about it before answering. "Then why didn't you tell me to wait?"

"Because all I could see was Big Bob looking at me; I'm sorry, but all I could picture was this other man being married to me, beating me, hurting me, treating me badly, demanding everything of me…and treating my children badly…abusing them…blaming them for things they never did," Helga cried, tears spilling from her eyes madly as Arnold moved forward to catch her sobbing form.

"I'm so sorry Arnold; I never meant to do this to you," she cried out, trying not to choke on her tears.

Arnold just held her and stroked her hair, rubbing her back gently as Helga let it all out. He had suspected and knew firsthand the relationship she had with her father and it wasn't a good one; perhaps never really knowing who his father was made it easier for him to accept Grandpa as his unofficial father, but Helga had not been as lucky. Bob was mean and cruel; Arnold hoped though that deep down he cared for his daughter. He had to be a decent man without the workload, but maybe he was never going to know what Bob would have been like if he wasn't under so much pressure. Sadly, Helga might never know either.

For an hour or so, Helga cried like she had never wept before; all the years of pain, abuse and hurt were flooding out of her, shaking her body uncontrollably as she let it all hit her for the first time. She couldn't do this alone anymore; she was aching and tired of being strong, tired of trying to do everything on her own and tired of being alone. Feeling Arnold's hand stroke her hair made it easier to try and keep herself together; but every time she tried to stop it would increase, the pain crippling her every movement. After a while however, she could feel the tears stopping and the pain slowly easing itself away from her.

Helga felt her breathing begin to ease as Arnold still held her; the fact he hadn't run away comforted her greatly as she snuggled into his chest. She loved the feeling she got when her head rested against him, her nose sucking his aroma and her arms wrapped around his waist. For a while they just sat there and enjoyed one another's company, but there was something pressing on her mind; the bar and Lila could wait, but there was something more important she had to know from Arnold and she hoped he remembered it.

"Arnold?" she asked gently, rousing him from the mini slumber he had gone into. He was so cute when he looked like he had just woken up.

"Yes Helga?"

"Phoebe mentioned something to me about you not being well; what did she mean by that exactly?"

Arnold's face paled. "She mentioned that?"

Helga nodded as he tried to settle himself down. "Well…I don't know if you really want to know Helga; I'm kind of fuzzy on what happened exactly, but if you really want to know you might want to pour both of us another drink."

"Why? How bad was this fire?" she asked as she poured another drink for the both of them.

"Fire?" Arnold asked, confused as to what they were talking about.

"Yeah Phoebe said she found you in your apartment after a fire alarm went off; and she said you weren't in the right frame of mind so is the fire some kind of torment for you?"

"Helga there was never a fire here."

Helga looked at him confused. "Then what caused you to be mentally unwell if it wasn't something traumatic like a fire?"

Arnold sighed and took a prolonged drink of the wine. "There was never a fire; when Phoebe found me, I wasn't cowering from the fire. I was trying to die when she found me."

Helga's face turned to that of a ghost as she looked at him in horror. "You don't mean-"

Arnold's sad face though told her more than he would ever reveal. "I tried to commit suicide the night of Gerald and Phoebe's fifth anniversary."

**A/N: Special thanks to U2 for keeping me going on this one; and also to the reviewers, whom I appreciate so much. Helga has finally admitted it to herself but now she has to face Arnold's past; and now that there is a bit more clarity, can Arnold remember it all?**** Will he want to remember it?**** As always please R & R, I really do appreciate it and it does help get the chapter out faster. Anyway, it should be up in the next week so until then.**


	9. Chapter IX: Arnold's Confession

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to MidniteRaine, Anonymous Latina and loonytunecrazy for reviewing; sorry for the delay but life has caught up with me. Latina: I believe she should, but that's for another time I think.

Chapter Nine: Arnold's Confession

The whirlwind of Helga's mind increased as Arnold watched her; she could feel her skin grow cold, her heart slowly break and tears begin to escape down her face. Arnold was still before her; but now she understood. Now she could see the pain in his heart and finally she knew the small secret that lay behind his eyes whenever she saw him. _Oh Arnold; how could you have ever considered it? How could you have ever thought that you should do that to yourself?_ However, the only word she could communicate to him only further emphasised the fear and pain she felt for him.

"Why?" she whispered, afraid to speak as if the event itself would jump out and attack her.

Arnold seemed to be contemplating her carefully before he spoke; he looked like he had instantly aged ten years as he sat before her, his eyes heavy and face paler than she had seen in many years.

"I…gave up."

Helga wanted to press him for it; she could force it out of him with Old Betsy, or she could seduce it out of him. But neither way would work and she knew it; Helga didn't want to hurt him again. And most of all she didn't want Arnold to resent her and seducing him right now wouldn't get it out of his system…although they would get something else out. Pinching her arm, Helga muffled her squeal of pain and watched as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"When you rejected me…I fell; even though I know now and partially knew then, there didn't seem to be much I could do to move on from you. Do you know what it is like to be addicted? To feel like every waking second you can't escape from the greatest feeling in the world? You became my love; I have never felt something so powerful before Helga; your love was like a blanket, protecting me and keeping me alive through everything that life threw at me."

"But the rejection…everything faded away when you left me, or when I left you depending on how you look at it. Life no longer held meaning for me; day became my nightmare, night my escape. I came to resent everyone who was happy; for the first time in my life there was nothing positive coming out of this rejection. Where could I go?" Arnold said, taking another long drink of his wine. Helga remained silent as he nearly drank the entire contents of the glass; if ever she could have spoken to the Arnold of a few years ago and tell him he would be drinking this much alcohol, she doubt he would believe her.

"Should I go back to you? No; no matter what my heart may have wanted me to do, feel or think, I knew in my mind I could not go back. So what was left? My parents were always on my mind, but I couldn't go finding them yet; I wanted to do that with someone I cared for. It was and is the greatest adventure I could ever hope to experience…but after everything that had happened, even they seemed far away. There was nothing left for me here."

Arnold's talking ended as he drank the wine, content to sit and watch the sky outside. Helga felt her heart stirring and she didn't like it; he had told her why and now she wanted to say something, anything to break the hold he still had on her heart.

"You wouldn't come back to me?" she asked, breaking Arnold's gaze outside.

"Like I said, I couldn't do it at the time."

"But if you had I could have explained it to you Arnold," Helga pleaded.

"You couldn't have," Arnold smiled, taking a sip as Helga's face turned red.

"And how do you know I wouldn't have done it football head?" she glared angrily at him.

Arnold's smile softened. "Because I know you Helga; you don't spend a fair amount of your life and love with someone precious to you without picking up on how they think and act; you only just got used to the idea in your head and being able to tell me now. You weren't ready."

She hated admitting it to herself, but he was right. "Whatever you say football head," she said grumpily, turning away and ignoring his growing smile.

Arnold moved closer to her and began to play with her hair. Helga couldn't help but respond to his touch, wanting it more and more with each stroke he laid upon her hair. She could feel his tender fingers work their way to her scalp, resting upon her head before stroking it gently. Her arms trembled, her skin turning to goose bumps while her legs began to melt into the couch itself.

_Oh Arnold, your touch; could it be that even after all these years you still have my heart my precious love? Oh darling I could sing to the heavens of your wondrous touch, your loving nature and care for one such as myself. How I wish I could tell you…_Helga thought as her mind turned to jelly, leaving a funny smile on her face as he continued to play with her hair.

"Arnold, I…" she started, unsure if she should continue.

"Helga I need to confess something to you," he said, stopping with his playing of her hair much to Helga's disappointment.

Arnold began to speak, but stopped, unable to say a word. Helga sighed; she couldn't take seeing him like this. It was in his eyes; he was hurting from her presence with him. She wanted hug him but she saw something else there; a hurt deeper than anything she could ever have thought possible. Then it clicked in her mind; _he doesn't love me anymore._ It was cold, but now she knew what she had to do; it was time.

"You don't love me anymore Arnold; I could see it in your eyes. That hurt; that pain…I never knew I could do that, after everything I'd gone through. I'm so sorry Arnold; I never wished for anything like this to happen. Goodbye Arnold; I hope we meet again someday," she began to cry, leaving him and walking for the door.

Perhaps the pain would lessen once she was out the door; bursting her heart apart, Helga wanted to stop but she couldn't; it was done. There was nothing else here for her. She had lost the one thing she had treasured the most in her life. Arnold, her beloved and dearest love was gone from her. She had ripped him from her side and now she had no choice but to leave before she hurt him again; he deserved that much at least.

Her hand rested on the door handle and froze; a tag from her other arm caught her attention, her head turning slowly to see a hand clamped around her arm. Her eyes trailed up the hand, taking in every minute detail, every inch of it as they lead to a chest and then a head pertaining to the boy who she had crushed only minutes ago. She could feel herself being sucked into his eyes: crystal clear, without a shade of hurt there, Arnold looked in her eyes deeply, her heart racing as he began to speak.

D & F

It was close to 11 P.M. as the red numbers shone brightly into her eyes, her waking sigh only momentarily hiding her hurting bloodshot eyes. Phoebe looked up from the bed and smiled softly, before a soft sigh escaped her lips. Lying next to her, covered only by the sheet on him, Gerald softly snored as Phoebe touched him gently, earning a murmur that made her smile widen. She felt her body ache slightly from their reuniting effort after the last few days, but she could still fell that longing to be one completely with him linger on. Sex wasn't what the small voice in her mind wanted; she felt her ring finger still empty and wondered if it was ever going to happen.

She loved him; no one ever doubted she did. But that absence…Gerald gave a start and rolled over, his eyes half closed as he looked up at her half realising he was naked and realising she was still only covered by the sheet also. Grinning, Gerald sat up and gave her a soft tender kiss on the lips, Phoebe wrapping her arms around him to pull him closer to her. She loved the sensations and chills he gave her, each touching embrace increasing the adrenaline already pumping in her veins. She realised how much she had missed him these last few days when he paused and kissed her forehead, another chill running down her spine.

"I wonder what Helga and Arnold are up to?" Phoebe asked her boyfriend, wrapped securely in his warm arms.

Gerald shrugged. "My man has always had trouble projecting his feelings to anyone; I hope for both their sakes that he can at least conquer that fear of his. Poor boy hasn't been the same since she broke his heart."

Phoebe though looked up at him and frowned. "Helga didn't exactly break his heart completely Gerald; he did allow himself to dwell on a lie that Lila fed him. If she hadn't told him that, Arnold wouldn't have been so down and left Helga."

"You don't know that for sure though Phoebe; she didn't exactly give him a reason to go back or at least stay on the rooftop when she wasn't sure of her commitment to him," Gerald tried to reason.

Phoebe though seemed to take offence and moved away from him. "I suppose you think he did the right thing then? Shutting himself down like that and leaving his heart to rot in alcohol and misery for a couple of years?"

He wanted to ignore her comment but he couldn't; he could fell his anger start to grow, directing itself to the one person he did not want to fight with, especially late at night. "I think he did the right thing with what he knew at the time. I'm not saying he should have done what he has done; I'm only saying that he did what he could do at this time in his life."

Phoebe glared at him. "How about you go and tell him that you approved of what he did?"

"Why would I want to do that? You know I didn't. What has gotten into you Phebs?"

Phoebe absentmindedly touched her ring finger and looked back at him. "When are you going to do it Gerald?"

Gerald looked at her strangely. "Phoebe what are you-"

Phoebe grabbed her gown and put it on. "You know what Gerald; I'm not in the mood for this. I'm going to see Helga."

Gerald jumped out of bed and grabbed his gown and followed her. "Phoebe please don't do this; you said we would let them solve their own problems by themselves."

"I don't care Gerald; I just want to talk to someone who isn't you right now," she mumbled, unlocking the door and moving swiftly to Arnold's. Gerald bumped into her as she opened the door and froze.

Lying together on the couch, Arnold and Helga moaned and smiled as they shared another deep kiss, completely oblivious to the two shocked friends staring at them with mouths wide open. They continued to remain locked at the lips, hands searching each other as Gerald and Phoebe both felt their faces redden. Backing up, Phoebe closed the door softly in front of them, Gerald's face still stuck in shock as Phoebe turned back to him. It grew in her, bubbling away until she couldn't hold it in anymore. Phoebe roared with laughter as Gerald snapped out of his trance and began to laugh too.

Supporting her back to the apartment, Gerald collapsed onto the couch as Phoebe rolled around on the floor clutching her sides. Tears streamed down the sides of their faces as they laughed for what felt like an hour, unable to remove the images in their minds. Eventually Gerald composed himself enough to sit up and suck in deep breaths, Phoebe not far behind him as she saddled up beside him and leaned against him for support. Any thought of being angry with Gerald had vanished from her mind, replaced only with a small smile and warm hug.

"I guess they made up then huh?" Gerald half laughed, his sides aching so much he felt he would need to get them replaced later.

"It would seem so; I wonder if they even knew we were there?"

"I strongly doubt it; especially with the way Helga had her arms wrapped around him. But I wonder what made them switch to being all…what is the word I'm looking for?"

Phoebe giggled; she suspected what may have happened between the two of them, but she wasn't about to speculate or confirm her theories…without interviewing Helga firstly. "Sexually involved?"

Gerald blushed, causing Phoebe to laugh lightly. "Remind me never to look at them the same way ever again."

D & F

An hour or two earlier…

Arnold held her hand, his heart pounding so loudly in his head that he felt that at any moment his heart might pop out of his chest. What was he doing? It didn't make sense to his football shaped head. He had intended to let her go and move on with her life so that he may follow that same path. But here he stood, his hand wrapped around hers now and blood pulsing around his mind faster than before.

Arnold wanted to let go and forget but he wouldn't; he just couldn't forget her anymore. He could feel himself being immersed and dragged deeply into Helga's soul just by looking at her eyes. He could feel her fear and uncertainty; but beneath it he could see she wanted love, a love no one else but he could give her. Arnold looked in her eyes deeply, his heart racing as he began to speak.

"Don't go."

Helga felt her whole body melt at those two words. "Helga…I…I don't know how to say it beautifully so I'll just say it. I love you with all my heart," Arnold blurted out.

Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes widened; had he really said it? "I have Helga and I still do; even after everything that has happened, even now when the future may not hold you in it for me, I have and still always will love you. Just thought you should know," Arnold said softly as he let go of her arm.

He turned away from her, trying hard to hold his tears back. He had told her and he knew she would leave anyway. It didn't matter now what she did; he had admitted it to her and himself. Maybe he would be able to move on now that he had done it; maybe he could finally gain some closure for this time of his life. Tempted to turn back, he fought himself internally; he would not do this do himself. His mind, although his heart was in control, was puzzled by a lack of noise; why hadn't she opened the door yet?

Helga stood still her hands shaking and eyes glued to the spot he had left her standing in. Numbness had taken over her mind and heart, unable to comprehend anything that was just spoken or said to her. She managed to keep herself breathing at least; mouth wide open and eyes still threatening to turn to the size of light bulbs, Helga tried to regain some of her bodily function but was struggling. Arnold, her dearest love, had confessed his undying love for her. This had to be a dream; nothing this good ever happened to her. Surely he was just trying to make her feel better about everything. Maybe this was all a final attempt to keep her heart together and allow both of them closure.

But why now?

Helga felt something inside her jolt; a small spark, it began to grow, spreading through her like wild fire, warming and energising every part of her body. Her mouth closed and eyes blinked; she removed her hand from the door handle and walked towards Arnold. He had turned away from her, no doubt waiting for her to leave. But she couldn't and wouldn't do that now; she had run away from everything for far too long. Coming to a standstill behind him, Helga tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

Arnold turned around, the tears no longer held back as he saw her smile; this smile compared to no others he had ever seen from her. She was bright, happy, excited and…in love? He couldn't believe what he saw; she wanted him more than anything else. Lunging at him, Helga wrapped her arms around him tightly as she kissed him deeply. Landing on the couch with a thud, Arnold didn't respond, his entire body in shock; as Helga continued to work her magic though, Arnold felt his emotions take over, the years apart gone as he responded to her touch and love.

For a while, nothing but the blissful sound of their physical love reached their ears, their worlds now focussed on only one thing: each other. Arnold could feel himself begin to want her more and smiled; Helga came up for air and frowned slightly at the goofy smile now plastered on Arnold's face.

"Something the matter football head?" she asked.

Arnold leant up and kissed her on the lips. "Yes there is; why did you stop?" he smirked, Helga returning the favour and devouring his lips with passion.

D & F

Tuesday morning dawned on Arnold, his eyes opening up slowly to unveil a beautiful blonde haired girl resting on him. Panicking, Arnold tried to move away, but the arms of this girl were locked tightly around him. It was only after she moaned that Arnold stopped and calmed down, his fear being replaced by a soft smile as he brushed away some of Helga's hairs from her face, revealing the most beautiful face he had ever seen.

Shuffling away from her, he stretched his back and smiled, the acts of last night coming back to him as he made his way to the kitchen. She was everything to him now; so what did this make them? As much as the thought of being with her excited him, he knew it wouldn't work. Kicking himself mentally, Arnold began to brew some coffee. He didn't want to ruin this now, but he had to be realistic; their lives were too different from one another.

His breath froze as he felt her hands trace up his chest, circling him and tempting him, her touch electric on his skin; it took everything he had in him to not pick her up and race her back over to the couch. A small peck on his cheek snapped him from the daydream he had of him and Helga. She already managed to grab one of the mugs and was heading back to the couch, the seductive sway in her hips captivating Arnold's thoughts so much so Helga turned around and smirked, jerking her hip upwards to break Arnold's thoughts.

Blushing furiously, Arnold joined her sheepishly at the couch, his eyes trying desperately to avoid the curves and hips Helga tried to discreetly flash him. Guzzling down the hot liquid, Arnold nearly gagged on it as Helga leaned forward and smiled. He wanted nothing more than to give in, but the nagging thought trenched itself in his mind, not giving him an inch until he spilled it out.

"So Arnold, what are you planning for today?" Helga smirked at seeing his eyes glance at her delicate hips and blush once more.

"Helga we can't do this," he managed to stutter out before he saw her face fall.

"Why not Arnold? We both want this," she said weakly.

"You leave here today Helga; we both know this won't last."

**A/N: Again sorry for the delay; I shall endeavour to have the next chapter up in a week. As always please read and review; I do appreciate the time you take to let me know what you think. ****This isn't the end…but will it get better? ****Until next time.**


	10. Chapter X: The End?

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to Pyrex Shards, Anonymous Latina and loonytunecrazy for their reviews. I feel honoured that you would say that Pyrex Shards and I thank you for that; I hope this lives up to your expectations. Enjoy.

Chapter Ten: The End?

Perhaps in hindsight standing at the top of this mountain wouldn't have been such a big deal if he had managed to avoid the howling gale that blew around him. Or if even perhaps months ago everything had worked out the way he thought it might. But then again life had never gone the way he had thought it would. The winding trail had ended and now he stood at the top, his gaze giving way to the magnificence and coldness of the Mountain View, his mind rendered empty as he looked around trying to take in each and every detail in minute and exacting detail.

Things had changed dramatically for Arnold since that eventful weekend; now standing at the top of the mountain with a camera, Arnold began to click away happily, his new found love and joy of painting having changed his world for the better. Still part owner with Gerald, Arnold had resided to the management side and had given Gerald greater choice of the running of the bar. Another snap shot of the mountain side sealed itself away in the mind of the camera, the coldness starting to send shivers down his spine. No matter how much he had moved on though, Helga was never far from his thoughts, her spirit following him endlessly. He wanted to go back to her, but even now…a ringing in his pocket grew louder, Arnold only able to feel the vibration to alert him to the fact that he was needed.

Receiving it, Arnold could hear the laughter grow louder on the other end. "Gerald, what's up?"

"Arnold you there man? It's hard to hear you over that wind – Phoebe settle down please?" Gerald pleaded away from the microphone, Arnold laughing to himself as Phoebe managed to tear herself away from Gerald.

"Anyway, we were both wondering when you'd be back for the dinner; you do remember we were treating you tonight right?"

Arnold smiled and nodded although his best friend could not see it. "I haven't forgotten; I just want a few more shots of this range and I'll be down."

Gerald muttered an ok before he hung up, leaving Arnold alone to his thoughts once more. Time began to slip away from him again as he continued to capture photos for his works. Having since arrived in New Zealand, Arnold had felt a revelation inside of him; he couldn't quite describe it yet to anyone, not even Gerald, but he felt like he was reborn; there was something about the tranquil and gentle nature of the country that seemed to bring out the best in him.

Another click and he turned off the camera; Queenstown was amazingly silent as he began his trek back down the mountain. The late afternoon air was nippy and bit through his clothing but it wasn't long until he found the car and headed back into town. All the while he drove; Arnold couldn't help but feel that something was still missing. He sighed and knew it in his heart. Helga was still out there somewhere and here he was wishing that above all the fun and enjoyment he could have the one thing that he had managed to let go of…again.

Four months earlier…

His fists clenched themselves tightly, pounding the mattress repeatedly without relief. How could he have done this? Thumping it with everything he had, his body kept up his efforts, his mind still numb and aching from the conversation. Another searing burn moved through his arms but he kept going; he needed this. She had been in his arms only hours ago; how had he managed to stuff everything up once again? Punching it in the hope the answer would reveal itself, Arnold hadn't noticed the aching his arms were beginning to feel, until they gave way and his body collapsed onto the bed.

"Damn it Arnold," he cried into the sheets. "Why did you have to do this now? After everything she was going to give you, after everything you wanted to give her…you idiot!" he shouted furiously, thumping the bed with his body.

Helga had left the instant he had uttered those words; he could have chased after her, but he didn't. Was he a coward? He felt like it right now. Lower than dirt? He had to be. Nothing was ever going to work out in the end for him. Lifting his head with great effort, he caught sight of the black book on his bedside table. Hatred and anger burned through him; it had come to represent everything that had been wrong in his life for so long. His hands were already moving of their own accord, his limbs clambering over one another in a bid to grasp the book.

This would have been funny to anyone watching as he heaved himself to the book; like a limp fish he knocked it onto the ground. Angry at the lack of effort he had with his body, Arnold was about to round on the book and damage it when he saw something written in the pages. It was neater than most of his writing in the book, but that wasn't what caught his attention; it had been addressed to him by himself. Titled at the top 'For when you feel down', Arnold paused to read it and gasped; everything came flooding back to him; the rope, the chair, the black room and the darkness that crept inside every part of his body. He had felt it fall from beneath him, the chair no longer supporting him as he awaited deaths embrace.

Gerald walked in amidst the clutter and chaos his room had become and sat down next to him, resting his hand on Arnold's back as Arnold cried onto the floor. "She meant the world to you didn't she?" Gerald mumbled softly, Arnold's jerking nods the only way he could communicate.

"It is for the best," Arnold managed to mutter after a while, his voice managing to find itself once again.

"Are you sure my man? It's not too late to make one last ditch attempt you know? We could jump in the car, race to the airport and catch her before she leaves; I'm sure we could get Phoebe to stall her for a few moments if need be?" Gerald explained, earning a smile from Arnold.

"No thanks Gerald."

Gerald looked at him curiously. "Why the sudden change Arnold?"

"I finally remembered that night; I know now why I couldn't let her go. Whether I knew it or not, I needed that closure from her; I needed to hear her say that she hadn't cheated on me, and I needed to say sorry for everything I did. It may never heal the wounds we both have; but I can move on from her. I know I hurt her, but she will know in time."

"Man you are weirder than I thought," Gerald stated before looking away.

"She isn't coming back Gerald."

"I know."

"She isn't going to be walking in that door right now."

"I know."

"So why do I want her to come in again?" Arnold asked.

"This is something that is even beyond me Arnold; we're one, but we're not the same. I think you need time; you need the chance to find you again. Who knows maybe you two are destined to be together, I can't really say."

Arnold felt his body relax; reaching out he closed the book and placed it back onto the stand, sitting up properly and returning his attention to Gerald. "You know I care for you Arnold; we both know Phoebe does too. Maybe for now though you need to let her go; you both have your own life to lead and maybe it's for the best that this weekend passes into our memories only."

"It can't be just a coincidence Gerald-"

"For now it might just be Arnold; leave it be my man. I don't want you to go beating yourself up over her again. One time was bad enough," Gerald said loudly, far more loudly than he had intended to speak.

Arnold looked at him shocked. "I didn't mean to-"

"I know Arnold; it's just you need to put it behind you. You confronted it so please leave it in the past where it belongs."

Present day…

Shaking his head, Arnold cringed momentarily from the light of the hotel room, the stiffness in his neck the only real cause of discomfort as he changed his clothing. A soft knock on the door hurried along his efforts, Gerald joining him without a word, straightening his tie and fixing his vest before looking over Arnold with a smile.

"We shouldn't keep Phoebe waiting for too much longer my man; you know how she is when things aren't running on time, especially something this important."

Arnold laughed before straightening his hair. "So when are you going to pop the question to her Gerald? It couldn't be much longer now surely."

Gerald didn't say a word as Arnold moved into the bathroom to check over his appearance. For someone who didn't usually have trouble with saying something, Gerald was being unusually silent as they walked to the car, Phoebe already waiting patiently, if not a little irritated at the time the two boys had taken to prepare themselves. A short drive later and the three of them were at a small local pub, itching to get into the warmth and comfort of the place. None of them really spoke until they were seated, Gerald and Phoebe together with Arnold opposite them.

Not wishing to be the third wheel, Arnold regretted his failure to remember to find someone to come along with him tonight. But he could hardly be expected to do this when his entire day had been spent observing the landscape and appreciating the scenic views of Queenstown. So it was with a momentary bitter feeling in his mouth that he took a sip of the red wine before him and began to talk with Gerald and Phoebe about their day.

Having enjoyed the sights around the town, Gerald was beginning to wonder if they should stay longer, with the original return from Christchurch looming before them. Phoebe seemed anxious to wait around a little longer in Queenstown before their departure home, which was very quickly supported by Gerald. Arnold took no notice of this and shrugged; he honestly didn't mind spending a few extra nights here providing he got the opportunity to experience more of the town. A blonde haired waitress with braided hair greeted them and took their orders, smiling at Arnold who blushed lightly as she walked away. Returning with drinks, Gerald winked at his friend who simply shrugged at the retreating waitress. A toast to the agreed upon decision was quickly followed by dinner, hastily consumed by all three adults.

"What is the agenda on the menu for tomorrow Phoebe?" Arnold asked, leaning back into the chair after the meal. Despite the continuous flow of food being served to the customers, there were few people now in the pub as they began to talk, a fact Arnold was grateful for.

"I'm thinking of checking out the shops around here once more; I think I saw this wonderfully crafted necklace so I shall endeavour to find it once more," Phoebe smiled.

"The ski fields are looking particularly good, so Arnold and I shall be spending the day experiencing the wonder of snowboarding and skiing," Gerald grinned beside her, earning a playful punch from Phoebe.

"It sounds ok then. Should probably get to bed early tonight; those last few late nights are really starting to kill me," Arnold smiled, watching the two of them lean and kiss.

"Besides," Gerald said, "There is something I need to tell the two of you."

Standing up, Gerald got down unto one knee, Phoebe already far ahead or Arnold realisation of what was happening and was watching Gerald intently with a beaming smile on her face. "Phoebe my darling, ever since I've met you I have never been able to take my eyes off of you. You have been the greatest thing to happen in my life and I can only ever hope to make you happy after all you have given me. And now there is something I must ask you."

Removing a small box from his pocket, Gerald steadied his breathing before looking Phoebe in the eye; Arnold could swear he saw a tear in Phoebe's eye but he dismissed it. "Phoebe, I want to spend my life with the girl I love and cherish above everything else and I want that girl to be you. With all my heart I ask you this; Phoebe, will you do me the honour and privilege of becoming my wife?"

For a moment Arnold wondered whether or not it was normal for someone being proposed to, to suddenly jump and begin crying all over them. He had to suppress the urge to laugh at the sight of Gerald's confusion. But a quick shout of yes dispelled any fears of a rejection, the people still in the pub cheering loudly as the blonde waitress came back over. Arnold couldn't help but smile and noticed something slightly different about the waiter; maybe it was her hair? Dismissing it, Arnold ordered the celebratory drinks for everyone.

"Sure thing football head."

For the first time in months Arnold froze; he hadn't been called that for a long time now. The last person who had…looking up at the waiter Arnold felt his heart begin to beat harder, his eyes darting all over her features and kicking himself mentally for the stupidity of not noticing it sooner. She wasn't the same waiter from before and now he understood why Phoebe had been keen to come here tonight. Brushing aside her fringe, Arnold tried to feel happy but it was proving to be harder than he thought.

"Hello Helga," he said coldly.

"Hardly the greeting I was expecting; congratulations Phoebe," she beamed as Phoebe had detached herself from Gerald and jumped into Helga's waiting arms. A sheepish Gerald had his smile wiped away upon seeing the expression on Arnold's face turn from smiling to furious. Jumping up from the table, Arnold stormed out of the pub, not bothering to look back at the shocked looks on Phoebe and Helga's faces.

How could he have been so stupid? Of course she was up to something; she was always up to something. And Gerald? He had to have been in on it from the start. It was time for him to go; he had had enough of this life. There was nothing left for him here but heartache and more pain. Where to do it? The mountains had been wonderful to see…running steps behind him stopped him in his tracks, waiting for Gerald to catch up to him. He would probably try to talk him out of it but that wouldn't stop him this time; a final goodbye. A single tear slid down his cheek; he didn't want it to end like this.

But Gerald never came; coming to a panting halt in front of him in the near zero temperature, Helga gasped deeply for the air to fill her lungs, despite the icy coldness stabbing into her lungs every time she did so. Arnold began to walk past her, but was stopped by her hand holding him back. He wasn't in the mood for playing games with her; truth be told he didn't want to be anywhere near her.

"I don't want to talk to you Helga."

"Arnold please just wait."

"What is it? I've got better things to do."

Truth be told there wasn't anything better to do. Falling from a cliff would do that to one's prospects.

"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how to tell you. Can we go sit down?" She gestured towards a park bench, lit up only by the passing moonlight above.

A wave of regret and joy spread through his body, his mind tumbling over any possible reasoning for Helga being here, of all times, in all of the places in the world, especially Queenstown, New Zealand. But the only reasoning he could form was Gerald and Phoebe; she must have known he would do it…perhaps they had planned it together. Regardless, sitting next to Helga was only bringing back all the things he regretted, all he missed and all he wanted to vanish from forever.

"Firstly I should have told you; Phoebe had suspected Gerald was up to something, so she had me come. Funny how you keep leaving the hotel whenever Phoebe decided wasn't? Whenever I wanted to find you and corner you she would leave."

Well that made leaving whenever Phoebe wanted to seem more logically than 'I just want to go'. "Strange."

"Incredibly; even by Phoebe's standards this was weird. Guess she wanted to give us a chance or something," she sighed, breathing out into the cold night.

Arnold watched the misty breath fade to nothing and sighed himself. Nothing was going to leave him alone now; his fate lay with her, he now knew that. But to what end? Every time they tried to run away from one another, somehow, some way, they always managed to find their way back to one another, inseparable as if this had all been written, all been created for this one moment to finally tell him what his heart needed to hear. But what was it?

"Tell me Helga; why are you here? Why did you come from half way round the world to find me here in Queenstown of all places on earth after you left me in my apartment all those months ago?"

Blushing red, Helga turned away and started to play with her fingers, placing them into her lap, a habit she had developed from the last few months. Usually a cup of tea or coffee was occupying her fingers then, but now wasn't the time.

"I came to find you."

The mumble from her lips barely reached his ears; he could have sworn she wanted to find him. But this did not make sense; why? Why look for him now when everything else had gone so well for him and her in the last few months.

"It's just…Criminey, you'd think I could string a sentence together and tell you how I feel, but no I have to sit here and mumble, stutter and struggle to express the care and love I have for you in my heart," Helga said, clutching her mouth as the last few words left her mouth.

Arnold paused and turned to face her. "You still love me? After everything we have gone through?"

Helga shied away from his look, wishing desperately she had been able to put distance between herself and Arnold right at this moment. "I do Arnold; I never have stopped loving you since the day you came into my life. There was something in your eyes the first time I met you; you had this light, this warming compassion in your eyes that shone so brightly in your soul. I had never seen something like this before, a love and care for someone other than yourself."

"But Helga, it can't work-"

"Who said that Arnold? For once take a chance in your life; I hurt you and I am truly and deeply sorry. But you can't go living your life in self pity, pain and hurt. It isn't healthy, and you will regret never moving on with anything because of it. I know because I went there…I saw those demons you faced….I'm so sorry Arnold."

Pale, Arnold asked his question in the hope he was wrong. "Those demons…they weren't?"

Helga nodded, tears slowly falling down her eyes. "If it wasn't for Olga I…"

Her body gave way as she cried; Arnold hugged her as she fell into his arms, weeping her heart out in the tears that began to stain his jacket. Like cold icicles they fell, shattering to tiny pieces upon Arnold. He held her close, ashamed and hurt; he had driven her there. He had driven his one true love to the near brink of the afterlife. His one true love…it dawned on Arnold now what he was missing; it wasn't her touch or her smell, it wasn't the wonderful personality that he had come to admire beyond anything else; he missed her.

It is hard to describe unless you have been there with another person; a bond formed so strongly and so powerfully that it does feel as though when you are apart from them that the bond has been severed, cut in two leaving both people clinging to the thin parts of their lives instead of being immersed and living together as one. His arms wrapped around her, Arnold began to cry, his emotions unable to hold in what his heart had been carrying for the last few months.

For a while they sat and cried into one another, unable to move of feel anything else despite the biting cold that tore through their clothing. "I love you," he whispered, unable to hold it in any longer. They didn't move apart for an hour, the crying ending but the desire to hold each other greater than before. His watch beeped, signalling eleven o'clock had arrived. Gently resting his head on hers, Arnold dreaded to think of what would if he moved his head away from hers.

"So where do you think we go from here?" Arnold asked as Helga looked up to him with puffy red eyes.

**A/N: Well it's not the end but there is one more chapter to go; I couldn't leave it here although it was tempting to. The last one shall decide the fate of these two; might take a week I'm hoping, life permitting. Anyway please R & R and let me know what you think; there could very well be a follow up story for this one, so if you are interested please let me know. Anyway until next time stay well.**


	11. Chap XI: Love, Life and the world beyond

**Ghost in the Night**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who is a genius!

Special thanks to MidniteRaine, Anonymous Latina and Jilly and to all of you have reviewed during this story; words cannot express how thankful I am for them. This is the end of this story, but there may be a continuation of this story later on, but I haven't decided on that just yet. I'm sorry for the long wait; exams needed to be done and I wanted this to be the best it could be. Anyway please enjoy.

Chapter Eleven: Love, Life and the world beyond

Soft chirps from above distracted him for a mere second, only one, in which time he could feel it once more dawn upon him; his best friend was to be married. Today. Though not worried about a last minute rush or for a confession of dire consequences, Arnold noticed the sweat bead on his friend's face, worry growing steadily in his eyes. Gerald wasn't going to run away from the wedding; it was nearly impossible. Harold stood silently at the back of the church, watching carefully in the shadows for any sign of Gerald running; a brief nod was returned by Arnold, who kept his eyes focused on the back of the church.

Everything today had gone exactly to plan; it had been a rather uncomplicated and simple plan Phoebe had devised for the wedding. Get Gerald to the front of the church and the rest of the wedding would take care of itself. Ingenious Arnold had to admit, but the suit he wore wasn't agreeing with Phoebe's design, the windows only half opened which left this hot sweltering midday heat to fester, unsettling even for the most cool of personalities. Glancing at his watch, Arnold tried to keep his own breathing in check. In a few minutes it would start; Phoebe would walk down the aisle and Gerald would speak his vows.

"Everything ok there Gerald?" Arnold asked, trying to break some of the tension he and Gerald had building up inside themselves.

"Hmm? Oh yes, sure, everything is fine Arnold; I'm just trying to remember the last part of the vow I was meant to say…I don't think it had anything to do with dogs however."

Arnold laughed. "I don't think so Gerald; but I do want to say I'm sorry."

Gerald turned to him oddly. "What for?"

"For the engagement; I never meant to run out and ruin your moment-"

A hand from Gerald stopped anything else he may have wanted to say or apologise for. "It is in the past Arnold and to be honest I'm sorry we put you into that situation; Phoebe thought it might be a good idea and in hindsight I shouldn't have agreed to it. But what is done is done; and besides you made up for it later anyway with the drinks and celebrations back at the rooms."

"Who would have thought you would grow up to be such a mature adult?" Arnold grinned, glad Gerald was fine with him.

"Neither of us that's for sure; I still don't think you've hit that point yet though," Gerald laughed, causing Arnold to blush slightly as he laughed.

Reassuring Gerald everything would be ok and that he still had the rings in his pockets, Arnold tried to put away the memory from last night but gave up. Last night had been the bucks' night, Gerald's last night of freedom and last chance to enjoy himself without worrying about Phoebe. Which is what Arnold had told him, but he had refrained from drinking a single drop of alcohol until he was safely back in the hotel room. Impressive given the party they had had for the engagement was beyond the buck's night. But this wasn't what worried him; it was strange to stand here watching everything unfold now that last night felt like months away…

Earlier that day…12:36 A.M.

"I'm telling you Gerald, she isn't going to mind; knowing what the girls could do with Helga around, this is tame compared to what they would be doing," Arnold grinned, Gerald's concern matching the jittering teeth.

"But at least they are all together; everyone left half an hour ago Arnold, so why are we standing in the cold about to jump into the hotel pool with nothing but board shorts on?"

"Only one way to find out."

Pushing him into the cold water, Gerald sunk to the bottom before shooting up from the bottom like a bullet, gasping for breath and shivering in the midnight air. A moment later and a laughing Arnold jumped into the pool, shooting to the top as quick as Gerald did and began to shiver, much to Gerald's pleasure.

"Time for bed?"

Arnold nodded at Gerald's suggestion and both jumped out of the pool hastily, running for the towels and shooting back into the hotel and up to the room. A cold air spread around him as they left the elevator and headed towards the room. Shaking all the way to the room door, Arnold turned his attention to the window at the end of the hall and saw Lila; she wasn't normal however in comparison to the Lila he knew. Pale green, her skin missing parts of itself and floating towards him eerily, a sliver of a ghostly smile traced her lips, her eyes narrowing as her hand reached out for him, grasping tightly around his neck as he felt it grow darker around him. It felt like death was inches from his eyes as the figure vanished away to form a monstrous form of a girl he loved dearly. "_How could you do this to me Arnold?"_ she shrieked as he tried to fight back against the hand to no avail.

"Are you alright Arnold?"

Arnold shook his head and turned to his best friend who was busily opening the door, unaware that anything strange had just occurred. Looking back towards the window, Arnold could find no trace of the ghostly Lila or of the monstrous form of the girl he loved. It didn't make sense and he gladly closed the door behind him as Gerald headed for the small mini-bar fridge in the corner of the room. He wanted to ask Gerald if he had seen the ghost too, but as Gerald took a sip from one of the drinks, he doubted his friend had seen anything.

He had to admit his life was more on track than it had been in a long time. His career was flourishing as was normal and he had managed not to remain locked down in his work or in the drinking he had once done before. A small tag of darkness flirted through his mind; brushing it aside mentally, Arnold reached for the drink Gerald offered him and began to drink it thankfully. It had been a while since his last drink and he immediately felt the effects surge through him; luckily he had eaten a hearty meal before hand or it could have been worse. But the drink wasn't what worried him though; he hadn't seen that ghostly figure for a long time.

"Arnold are you sure you're ok my man? You look paler than normal," Gerald commented offhandedly, relaxing himself on the large bed, no doubt reserved for tomorrow night's uniting with his soon to be wife.

"Yeah I'm fine-"

"Tell me the truth Arnold; we've gone through way too much lately for me to drop it," he smirked.

Arnold took another long gulp of the alcohol and frowned. "I saw her again."

Nodding, Gerald leant back further into the cushions and enjoyed himself. "I suppose it hasn't left yet completely; she is the only link you have to that life though Arnold. Let it go."

"How do I let it go?"

"Something is holding you back and we both know it; perhaps you're hoping for something, or you haven't forgiven someone for the wrong they did to you or you haven't been forgiven for your wrong against them. There are many possibilities," he continued as Arnold tried to say something, "However I think the most likely one is this; things with you and Helga have been going well and there is no denying that the both of you are now increasingly happy to be around one another. But you won't get close to her again; am I right?"

Arnold cringed at the thought of his best friend being right once again that night; how he had managed to guess the exact contents of the meal without looking at it had astounded everyone at the restaurant. But this wasn't exactly that far off either; he only held onto it because he felt it had become such a part of him that he couldn't leave it alone anymore.

"I…it isn't that; it has become such a part of me, the depression, that I can't begin to think what it would be like to live without it. Life has changed so much lately; I don't know how I would live without it now. It's like a drug to me; I remember it so clearly that it reinforces my desire not to go back to it."

"And this is the difference here my man; you're still living it instead of letting it be a memory to remind you that you can get through the struggles in your life instead of succumbing to them and giving in. I'm not a genius, but I think that if you can put it behind you, accept it happened and move on, you will find that the new life you have will have an greater lease on it now than you thought was possible before."

Arnold slumped into the chair behind him; he couldn't remember ever feeling so drained before tonight and the drink in his hands was only making it worse. Placing it beside him, Arnold decided enough was enough; he couldn't drink anymore. Every time he did the memories would flood back to his mind like an old news reel, the pain growing and laughing at the misery it put him through. The room grew darker, Gerald fading from his view before him. Experience told him what was about to happen; the air around him turned to a chill that would leave anyone around him frozen, his breath like a furnace as she appeared.

Pale green all over; the form of a ghostly Lila appeared before him once more. Where there should be eyes were white slits of light, her voice horribly high pitched and skin clinging to the bones around her. She floated towards him, her hand once again outstretched for his neck, hoping to this time finish the job is had started out to do all these years ago. His mind froze itself in the fear but his heart pounded more than it ever had; he was not going to run away and hide from this anymore.

"Go away," he stuttered, the chill making it hard for his body to remain warm.

"_Oh__ my dear Arnold, you have nothing to fear anymore; it shall end shortly," _she smiled darkly, her hand inches now from his neck.

"I don't need you anymore Lila; I have something worth living for now."

The ghost laughed, the high pitch of her voice shattering the glass around him, forcing him to cover his ears. It was horrible to listen to; it sounded like the wailing of a thousand dying souls, eternally doomed to the afterlife. But he had to fight back; he couldn't give up now…

"I told you to leave me alone Lila; you can never have what I hold dear to me anymore."

"_But Arnold," _she said, the figure warping frantically, _"I am her; we can never be apart my love. __You are mine, just as I am yours. You never needed anyone else Arnold; I was always going to be the one you love. You can't fight me; you love me too much," _the figure morphed, finally arriving at the gorgeous figure of Helga Pataki.

Unlike Lila, this ghost was not a pale green but more of a darker blue, her body ice cold. Her eyes shone brightly, beckoning Arnold forth. All life in his fight left him; she was right. It was over. Her hand moved closer to him, stroking his face carefully before moving downwards. Arnold felt his eyes slowly close, shutting tightly as he prepared for the end. He was a fool to have tried to fight back; Helga was always right about him; she had always been. This was his last time of watching his true love before him…A flicker of an image flashed through his mind; he was sitting on the bench in New Zealand at night once more and she was with him, smiling and hugging him so tightly. Arnold's eyes shot open; this wasn't his love.

A wave of fear spread through the ghostly Helga; changing back to the first green form, her hand retreated from his neck unable to stand the warmth that spread through his body. Lila made to speak but stopped; projecting from him, a feminine figure rose forth from Arnold, magnificent and majestic and equally powerful. Arnold caught sight of her and gasped; clothed in armour of old and wearing her hair in a long plait down her back, Helga strode towards the ghost and grinned.

"Leave Arnold alone," her voice projected, slamming the ghost to the ground instantly.

The ghost tried to stand back up, but Helga's hands had picked it up like a rag doll, bringing Lila to her eye level. Shrieking and trying to break her grasp, Lila began to burn, her form fading away to ashes as Helga held her tightly.

"You have tormented him for long enough; it is time you receive your reward. Feel the sorrow and pain you have caused him and enjoy it; you shall burn," Helga spat, watching as Lila's form gave one last struggle before her ear piercing scream escaped her body, sending Arnold onto the floor behind him.

Stillness receded for a moment; hands held him up, her eyes gazing into his lovingly as Arnold looked at her. Her form was begin to turn wispy around her, slowly moving back into his heart. Arnold couldn't help but feel sad; she was going again. She was leaving him.

"Arnold, I'll always be in here," Helga smiled as she stretched out her hand to his heart and closed her eyes. In one fluid motion, Helga became a bright light, flooding the room as she moved back into his heart…

Gasping for breath, Arnold felt the cold sweat on his brow and frowned; Gerald was looking at him oddly. He didn't remember seeing Gerald standing over the top of him before and feeling with his hands around him he certainly didn't remember being on the ground. Taking the hand offered to him, Arnold stood up and shook his head. Gerald continued to stare at him, shaking his head at the thought of Arnold being mad.

"I guess that dream was intense," Gerald smiled, helping Arnold over to the bed.

"I did it Gerald," he replied weakly.

Puzzled, Gerald fixed the pillow beneath his head. "She is gone; I never have to see her again. I'm finally free," he smiled, exhausted and heaving for breath.

Gerald smiled softly and fixed the blanket over his friend. "And about time too Arnold; you deserve it," he whispered before turning to the chair and settling down for the night, Arnold's mind ablaze with the thought of Helga.

Wedding altar…3:32 P.M.

Arnold shook his head and caught the smile of Phoebe as Gerald pronounced the words he knew she had waited to hear for so long: I do. The priest spoke for a moment before pandemonium broke loose; embracing each other, Gerald and Phoebe kissed, the church crowd erupting into celebration as one; hats flew in the air, women cried as did a few of the men; Arnold could make out the proud smile of Gerald's father and the happy cry of his mother, who was tearing up but managing to still look at them. His former classmates were jumping up and down, high fiving and laughing and crying, all too happy to explain what it was that made them all act this way. But it was the look from Phoebe's bridesmaid, her maid of honour, that captured the feeling he felt the best.

Helga, dressed in lilac blue, smiled towards him, winking before returning her attention to the couple of the hour. Arnold could hardly have experienced anything better than to be standing beside his best friend and watch him celebrate one of the greatest days of his life, a moment he knew Phoebe and Gerald would forever hold dear no matter what may come from this moment on. Like a blur Arnold found himself at the reception, smiling as he finished his speech and leaving most of the crowd in tears and beaming at the newlywed couple. A soft smile to Helga was all the acknowledgement she needed; he owed her one now after her last minute assistance to his speech.

For a while they ate, the chatter amongst the guests growing steadily but never getting louder than necessary. Jazz music played out over the speaker, flooding the room with a gentle calm, a request of Arnold's and one that Gerald had agreed to at the last minute; he would never admit it to his best friend, but Gerald secretly deep down loved the music playing on this day, providing him with many a happy memory whenever it played at the bar. Soon enough though the time would come and Arnold would have to bid farewell to his best friend for their honeymoon; from the plans Gerald had mentioned, Hawaii followed by a quick trip to England, Paris, New Zealand and Australia would suffice. Sure it meant a busy month for them, but they deserved the time off.

Arnold's thoughts quickly drifted though to last night as the crowd continued to eat. That ghost had haunted him for the last few months since New Zealand, something he had only been able to examine and confirm with Gerald's help. A relic of his depression was their diagnosis, a force equally powerful both mentally and physically. Although the threat to go back had hung over him since then, Arnold could feel his heart beat harder, his smile broaden and eyes shine; the angel protecting his heart was always close to him, watching and reassuring him that she was there for him no matter what.

Soon enough the time came for the first dance of the newlywed couple; he had been waiting all day for this moment, counting down the hours and minutes until it would happen. It would be the first chance he had had in days to see Helga up close and he could barely contain the excitement he felt at the touch of her hand in his and the locking of their eyes together. Music drifted through the air, gracefully and comfortingly towards the dancers, Arnold leading slowly as Helga followed. One by one the crowd joined, after witnessing the bride and groom dance with one another. Swaying away to the music, no one noticed the conversation taking place between Arnold and Helga, both explaining and laughing at the antics of last night's parties in both camps. However something more important was weighing on Arnold's mind.

"And after the drinking, Phoebe swore she would never touch another drop whenever she ate chips again," Helga smiled, earning a small laugh from Arnold.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it; but I think we both know there is something more important going on here," Arnold smiled, chancing a quick glance towards Gerald and Phoebe, both lost in one another's embrace and dancing slowly on the spot.

A soft warm smile blossomed on Helga's face. "I'm so glad they did it; although I think I still owe Phoebe an apology for the engagement problem."

"I wasn't talking about them Helga; I was talking about us."

Something in Helga's stomach began to plummet upon hearing those words; every time Arnold had ever mentioned those words, things had never been the same. Arnold caught sight of her paling face and began to worry. "It's not what you think Helga."

"What is it then Arnold? If you're going to break up with me again please leave it till later," she pleaded softly, not wanting to take another blow to her already fragile heart.

Arnold smiled and shook his head. "It's something far greater than that Helga."

Helga watched him carefully as he tried to find the right words to say. "Helga, I love you; and after watching, witnessing and feeling the pain we've both been in for so long, I've decided to end it. I can't stand to be apart from you anymore; so I'm wondering if you would marry me?" he asked softly.

He could see the clock work mind of Helga turning over, thinking it through before seeing a smile he had never witnessed from her appear from the depths of her heart; holding him tightly, Helga shut her eyes, feeling tears form. "Yes," she whispered.

For a while they held each other close, not really saying anything except to ask if this was real. Soon however they began to discuss when to tell people; they both agreed quickly to leave it till later. This was Gerald and Phoebe's day after all. As the dancing broke up to those who wanted to keep going and those would had only done it for show, Arnold left Helga to dance with one of the flower girls. Finding a vacant seat, Arnold sat down and breathed deeply, trying to comprehend everything that had happened lately.

Taking a drink from a passing waiter, Arnold was joined by Gerald who had undone his tie and was trying to gather his thoughts likewise; Phoebe continued to talk with guests and join in with the crowd, talking, laughing and smiling all at the same time. Arnold smiled at his best friend who grinned back and nodded.

"I'm probably the luckiest guy on the face of this planet right now."

"You definitely are Gerald; how is she holding up?"

"She will be fine; probably had a fair bit to drink by now, but she normally holds her liquor well. How is Helga? She seems to be smiling a lot now," Gerald commented, noting Arnold's gaze in her direction.

"She is wonderful; I'll explain to you tomorrow," Arnold replied at Gerald's questioning gaze.

"Fair enough my man; it's funny. I never thought I would get married, but here we both are, drinking to the start of my marriage and the time to come. I wonder when your time will come though Arnold; it couldn't be far off surely?"

Arnold grinned and shrugged his shoulders. Watching the guests dance, Gerald patted him on the back and made his way towards Phoebe, kissing her lightly on the cheek before joining in with talking to all the guests once more. Arnold continued to watch Helga dance; he wasn't sure where everything was going to go soon. Time had a funny way of playing with him, even when he felt he had sorted everything out. But granted he was now engaged, Arnold finally felt something that had been missing in his soul for a long time; peace had finally found its way into his heart. And now as he looked out towards the girl that held his heart, Arnold couldn't help but smile; the little black book had done its job.

**A/N: Once again thank you; if you have any more questions please don't hesitate to inbox me, mail me or however suits you best. R & R if you have a chance; I would love to hear your thoughts on this story and what you liked about it. Until next time, I remain your friend in writing.**

**Destiny and Fate United.**


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